We found out we were pregnant the day before our engagement photos. Two bold lines that changed everything. Nothing could’ve prepared us for what came next. This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever walked through. physically, mentally, emotionally. I never thought I’d be the one telling this story. But here I am.. so bare with me I started bl**ding 1,100 miles from home. Away from my fiancé. The girls and I head to the hospital. sitting in a hospital room, praying it wasn’t what I feared. But deep down, I knew. The docs weren’t saying anything. They weren’t reassuring me at all. I had to call my mom. I couldn’t even speak. She had to be the one to tell Austin. So she drove over to our house to tell him the news. I couldn’t face the fact of telling him what news we had just got. I felt like such a let down. That I was in trouble, like I did something wrong. I felt he was going to be so upset, I just couldn’t. The next day, in an airport bathroom, everything was gone. I never got to say goodbye. People ask if it gets better. And maybe it does with time. But there’s not a second that goes by where I don’t think about who they could’ve been. Or who I was before this pain. I’m scared to try again. I’m scared of hope. But I’m also learning to talk about it. To hold space for both heartbreak and healing. To be okay with not being okay. This is part of our story now. And if you’re going through it too. you’re not alone. And now, here I sit… today… still debating with myself whether or not to share this. I’ve written and re-written this caption more times than I can count. I’ve questioned if hitting post will bring healing or more hurt. But I think somewhere deep down, I’m hoping it brings a little clarity. Maybe a little peace. I know I’m not the only woman who’s walked this road. I know others will want to share their stories to relate or comfort me, and I get it. But I’ll be honest… I’m in such a fragile state right now, I’m scared to read them. Not because I don’t care, but because sometimes it feels like people are comparing pain, and mine still feels too raw to hold next to anyone else’s. So yes this post might seem curated or carefully timed. But I promise it’s only because I’ve been sitting with this grief, this fear, this storm of emotions for days and weeks, trying to find the right words to match the realest feelings. This is us. In real time. In real life. Living through something we never imagined. And slowly becoming different people because of it. One of the hardest parts lately has been the real-life conversations. When I see people in person, I never know if they know or not… if they’re avoiding the topic to protect me, or just unsure of what to say. & I get it. It’s awkward. But I want you to know: it’s okay to bring it up. I don’t expect perfect words, and I’m not looking for pity. I just want to be able to talk about it honestly without feeling like the air goes stiff. I can talk about it now. I want to. Even if it’s messy or hard. Just being real with me means more than you probably realize @Austin Peebler 📸: @K P | Wedding Photographer This is part 1 of our angel baby story. 🪽 ughhh I’m scared 😭 #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #miscarriagejourney - @brittany.scovel