@daddyzach757: #foryourpage

TheMachine757
TheMachine757
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Tuesday 21 January 2020 06:29:32 GMT
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Transparency post… This past Saturday I was outside in the Gazebo and my son stuck his head out to ask if we could watch a movie together, then he immediately vocalized his appreciation for me.. Now, right before I went outside I battled with feeling inadequate, feelings of uncertainty, insecurity and like I’m not doing enough. This assignment God has placed on me is so huge and it becomes overwhelming. It’s overwhelming because God has given me the vision of my future and it looks NOTHING like my present! But the feelings of unworthiness comes from not knowing what I have to do to achieve that vision. I know it’s coming but how do I obtain it?! I’ve been struggling with that.. We moved back into my mom’s house a few years ago and yet…I’m still here. It’s been a rough battle with my spirit and flesh. Because in order to step into my calling I MUST be completely transparent… and in order to be transparent I must be vulnerable.. For years I’ve struggled with autonomy. Well my entire life this far honestly. These past few years into my healing journey I’ve learned that I suffer from narcissistic abuse and it’s a long emotional battle. It’s like if I gain any type of independence the abuse gets worse so I go back into my codependency so the pain can be over temporarily… I vowed to my babies that this year will be the LAST Christmas we wake up in this house… I’ve been trying to share my testimony but I’ve been doing it “on my time” and I’ve wondered why it feels so difficult… It’s difficult because instead of capturing my life, I’ve been “making content” and they are two totally different things. So to my parents that are so busy focusing on breaking generational curses… it feels like it’s all falling apart because it is! It has to crumble in order to create your new empire. The road to autonomy continues… #boymom #MomsofTikTok #momlife #gentleparenting #cyclebreaker #generationaltraumabreaker #traumahealing #innerchild #healing #childhoodtraumahealing #narcabusesurvivor #narcabuseawareness #fyp #transparency
Transparency post… This past Saturday I was outside in the Gazebo and my son stuck his head out to ask if we could watch a movie together, then he immediately vocalized his appreciation for me.. Now, right before I went outside I battled with feeling inadequate, feelings of uncertainty, insecurity and like I’m not doing enough. This assignment God has placed on me is so huge and it becomes overwhelming. It’s overwhelming because God has given me the vision of my future and it looks NOTHING like my present! But the feelings of unworthiness comes from not knowing what I have to do to achieve that vision. I know it’s coming but how do I obtain it?! I’ve been struggling with that.. We moved back into my mom’s house a few years ago and yet…I’m still here. It’s been a rough battle with my spirit and flesh. Because in order to step into my calling I MUST be completely transparent… and in order to be transparent I must be vulnerable.. For years I’ve struggled with autonomy. Well my entire life this far honestly. These past few years into my healing journey I’ve learned that I suffer from narcissistic abuse and it’s a long emotional battle. It’s like if I gain any type of independence the abuse gets worse so I go back into my codependency so the pain can be over temporarily… I vowed to my babies that this year will be the LAST Christmas we wake up in this house… I’ve been trying to share my testimony but I’ve been doing it “on my time” and I’ve wondered why it feels so difficult… It’s difficult because instead of capturing my life, I’ve been “making content” and they are two totally different things. So to my parents that are so busy focusing on breaking generational curses… it feels like it’s all falling apart because it is! It has to crumble in order to create your new empire. The road to autonomy continues… #boymom #MomsofTikTok #momlife #gentleparenting #cyclebreaker #generationaltraumabreaker #traumahealing #innerchild #healing #childhoodtraumahealing #narcabusesurvivor #narcabuseawareness #fyp #transparency

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