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@ilovmaryjane._: she did it herself!

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Saturday 05 August 2023 14:27:22 GMT
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i was 18 & almost (thought i did for a sec) witnessed my dad shoot himself in the kitchen after other things went down & i realized enough was enough & i didn’t have to put up with it anymore neither did my mom or the rest of my family so i called the police. it was very public bc my dad was a teacher & a football coach at the high school i just graduated from so it was a big deal. everyone thought they knew my family pretty well & thought we were such a “happy loving family” so ya everything i knew in my life at the time changed overnight. we went to court every couple months & sat in a cold, quiet room for hours so we didn’t have to see him while our lawyers talked, parents got divorced after mom swore it was never an option & dad finally went to a facility for a year or so then we started talking again in 2020 after i thought i’d never have a relationship with him again. but 2018 was the most traumatic out of body experience ever, i swear i jumped into a parallel universe & became a whole other version of me. i would pass out regularly i think i even had a couple seizures ??? but i didn’t care bc life was so unreal. i was so high & numb. btw my parents were the “it” high school sweetheart couple married at 18 & we were the “it” family bc both my parents worked in the school system & our last name was well known. from the outside looked like the perfect lil football on fridays & church on sundays family. we were very close & we still are, just not secretive anymore bc there’s no violence to hide or pretend isn’t happening. it’s almost 8 years later & all our lives have completely changed for the better. it’s the kind of peace mom said she prayed for all 30 years of their marriage. i truly believed jail saved his life bc he kept spiraling & getting worse every time we thought he got better. he would get more violent & reckless, his dr had him on all the wrong meds making him worse giving him liver problems. talk about mental illness & paranoia he deadass thought everyone hated him & would overthink every little interaction w everybody bc he was so in his head. he ran away to kansas then drove to texas w only a burner phone & missed the last 2 months of school my junior year bc he was “sick”. i had to lie to ppl everyday abt what was rly going on but lying abt my home life was normal to me as a kid just lie i’d lie abt my bruises. crying, screaming, arguing, physical fights, throwing things, breaking things, smashing things, punching doors & walls would last for hours & end w everybody crying & dad apologizing for the way he was bc his dad was hard on him yadayadayada right then & there i knew i had to be the one to not blame my dad for treating ppl i love so terribly, but also swore i’d never trust a man or want to get married & end up just like my parents. well that’s how ik love isn’t always a choice bc i fell in love anyway & convinced myself i didn’t so we’d pretend it was absolutely nothing when it was absolutely everything. i hated men & i was angry at my dad so i held a lot of resentment towards the boy i really loved i just never had a good example of a loving relationship so i didn’t know what to do & i didn’t do anything. i got a lot of attention but it didn’t matter bc i couldn’t have the one i wanted. idk ig when the feelings are so strong things escalate so quickly everything got blown out of proportion bc we were scared of what we both felt & we were young & stupid so others got involved & we made a big mess. ya anyway that’s only the jist of my life trauma & drama. glad i get to be the one telling my story now lmao
i was 18 & almost (thought i did for a sec) witnessed my dad shoot himself in the kitchen after other things went down & i realized enough was enough & i didn’t have to put up with it anymore neither did my mom or the rest of my family so i called the police. it was very public bc my dad was a teacher & a football coach at the high school i just graduated from so it was a big deal. everyone thought they knew my family pretty well & thought we were such a “happy loving family” so ya everything i knew in my life at the time changed overnight. we went to court every couple months & sat in a cold, quiet room for hours so we didn’t have to see him while our lawyers talked, parents got divorced after mom swore it was never an option & dad finally went to a facility for a year or so then we started talking again in 2020 after i thought i’d never have a relationship with him again. but 2018 was the most traumatic out of body experience ever, i swear i jumped into a parallel universe & became a whole other version of me. i would pass out regularly i think i even had a couple seizures ??? but i didn’t care bc life was so unreal. i was so high & numb. btw my parents were the “it” high school sweetheart couple married at 18 & we were the “it” family bc both my parents worked in the school system & our last name was well known. from the outside looked like the perfect lil football on fridays & church on sundays family. we were very close & we still are, just not secretive anymore bc there’s no violence to hide or pretend isn’t happening. it’s almost 8 years later & all our lives have completely changed for the better. it’s the kind of peace mom said she prayed for all 30 years of their marriage. i truly believed jail saved his life bc he kept spiraling & getting worse every time we thought he got better. he would get more violent & reckless, his dr had him on all the wrong meds making him worse giving him liver problems. talk about mental illness & paranoia he deadass thought everyone hated him & would overthink every little interaction w everybody bc he was so in his head. he ran away to kansas then drove to texas w only a burner phone & missed the last 2 months of school my junior year bc he was “sick”. i had to lie to ppl everyday abt what was rly going on but lying abt my home life was normal to me as a kid just lie i’d lie abt my bruises. crying, screaming, arguing, physical fights, throwing things, breaking things, smashing things, punching doors & walls would last for hours & end w everybody crying & dad apologizing for the way he was bc his dad was hard on him yadayadayada right then & there i knew i had to be the one to not blame my dad for treating ppl i love so terribly, but also swore i’d never trust a man or want to get married & end up just like my parents. well that’s how ik love isn’t always a choice bc i fell in love anyway & convinced myself i didn’t so we’d pretend it was absolutely nothing when it was absolutely everything. i hated men & i was angry at my dad so i held a lot of resentment towards the boy i really loved i just never had a good example of a loving relationship so i didn’t know what to do & i didn’t do anything. i got a lot of attention but it didn’t matter bc i couldn’t have the one i wanted. idk ig when the feelings are so strong things escalate so quickly everything got blown out of proportion bc we were scared of what we both felt & we were young & stupid so others got involved & we made a big mess. ya anyway that’s only the jist of my life trauma & drama. glad i get to be the one telling my story now lmao
These seats have every view 👀 (via @Theamazingalvis) #nascar #cars
These seats have every view 👀 (via @Theamazingalvis) #nascar #cars
It’s so frustrating
It’s so frustrating
জুম্মার এই দিনে ও রাতে বেশি থেকে বেশি দরুদপাঠ করবেন..!!❤️‍🩹🌺 #abutohamuhammadadnan #foryou #fyp #foryoupage #viral #islamic #islamic_media #islamic_video #banglawaz #trending #waz #islamicvideo #shahedafnan04
জুম্মার এই দিনে ও রাতে বেশি থেকে বেশি দরুদপাঠ করবেন..!!❤️‍🩹🌺 #abutohamuhammadadnan #foryou #fyp #foryoupage #viral #islamic #islamic_media #islamic_video #banglawaz #trending #waz #islamicvideo #shahedafnan04
They're finally reunited.#usa🇺🇸 #reunion #surprise
They're finally reunited.#usa🇺🇸 #reunion #surprise
Winning gold in a high-level competitive sports event while not feeling your best is pretty legendary. @Vasilisa Kaganovskaia 💋⛸️ and Maxim Nekrasov should be proud of their teamwork and sportspersonship 🏅🏆 #vasilisakaganovskaya #maximnekrasov #vasilisaandmaxim #василисакагановская #максимнекрасов #sports #figureskating #icedance #powerofsport #sportsmanship #sport #wintersports #teamwork #fyp
Winning gold in a high-level competitive sports event while not feeling your best is pretty legendary. @Vasilisa Kaganovskaia 💋⛸️ and Maxim Nekrasov should be proud of their teamwork and sportspersonship 🏅🏆 #vasilisakaganovskaya #maximnekrasov #vasilisaandmaxim #василисакагановская #максимнекрасов #sports #figureskating #icedance #powerofsport #sportsmanship #sport #wintersports #teamwork #fyp

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