@goodmorgantherapy: Comment/Dm the word SEEN for the free live Masterclass link! Why is sex and laughter so much easier at the beginning of a relationship than it is at the end of it? Because we are liars! We lie to ourselves in order to protect & hide ourselves from our partner. Even within just an hour of hanging out with our partners, they’ll say something that’s a little bit triggering, a little bit hurtful, a little bit disappointing, not out of cruelty but out of basic human differences. Every time they do something small like that, I would, just like many of my clients, lie to myself about the fact that I was hurt. I would ignore these little things so that I wouldn’t seem petty or like I was too much or to avoid making my partner defensive. And yet, every time I did that, I would add a brick to a wall of resentment between my partner and me until it was too high for me to feel seen by him at all. Of course I thought he was annoying and didn’t want to laugh at his jokes. I didn’t feel seen or safe. Neither did he. This is where we began to implement a Micro Honesty Practice That means sharing how we are honestly feeling throughout the day— good and bad. The goal every day is to be transparent and loving. “That was so great. Thank you so much. I love it when you do that.” “I’m feeling insecure. I’m feeling hurt right now. I’m feeling triggered by that.” Sharing doesn’t sound like “you hurt me. Fix it.” It sounds like “This is my hurt. Will you understand it with me?” The response doesn’t sound like, “You hurt me too sometimes! It’s not that big of a deal” It sounds like, “Thank you for sharing that. Tell me more.”

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Monday 08 July 2024 20:38:15 GMT