@lauren_larusso: I’m sick and having a day! But wanted to address the many burning questions about why I don’t like the path of contacting the affair partner or their spouse. I don’t like the idea of being a part of the destruction. I personally prefer to let things unfold for others the way they are meant to. I prefer to focus on personal discernment and the healing and rebuilding of one’s self. I empathize with the tremendous urge to reach out to the AP or their spouse. Believe me, it can feel confusingly unethical and reckless not to sometimes. But in my experience there is not a large gain from doing this. And there is more chaos, confusion, hurt, and personal fallout that stands to come from pulling others into the dialogue. That being said, each situation is different. Affair partners and their spouses can be friends, colleagues, people with whom we naturally feel compelled to process with. We may have questions that we believe can only be answered there, too, and we may have an insatiable urge to find relief from the unknown. I hope this reel helps shed light on why I prefer to stay in one’s own lane. I believe that if you are always tending to what is your own, then you leave others to tend to what’s theirs — appropriately, in time, if that’s their journey. Letting go control can feel impossible. And yet, this entire experience is about exactly that. #affairs #infidelity #boundaries #boundariesarehealthy #control #loss #acceptance #grief #anger #pain #marriage #divorce #destruction #therapy #advice

LaurenLaRusso

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Thursday 11 July 2024 14:20:26 GMT