@bozoed: BROTHERS • personal edit. kennycore #naruto 🦭 / / / posted this for myself, about my brother. 🙏 My brother came home drunk at around 5 AM two nights ago and woke me up. He said he’d tried calling me on his way back, but I didn’t answer, cause i was asleep. As soon as he got home, ten minutes after ringing me, he came to my room to tell me he loved me and hugged me. Which is so rare. He apologised for being loud, for being a dick, and for all the usual shit—shouting, swearing, being a dick. Said he’d been feeling guilty about it lately since he’d noticed I’d been sitting downstairs more. Then he paused for a moment and apologised again, this time for when I was little. He told me he remembers me as a baby, crying, and him punching me with full force. Admitted he realised how stupid he’d been, that he could’ve killed me, that he remembers tripping me up and how bad he felt when blood started pouring from my nose. It’s clear he’s been carrying that guilt for the last 15 or so years. Then he told me, “You’re like me and Patrick, and I appreciate that. There are things between us that only we’d get. We’re so alike, even though we don’t really talk about it.” Said he thinks it’s cool that I collect figures and have my own style, that I’m like him and Matty in that way. That he knows I don’t have friends like he does, that I mostly keep to myself, and that he actually thinks it’s cool how I just do my own thing. He didn’t say it outright, but to me, it felt like he was telling me that he knows I don’t have many friends, but he’s always going to be here. Then he told me, “You’re like me and Patrick, and I appreciate that. There are things between us that only we’d get. We’re so alike, even though we don’t really talk about it.” Said he thinks it’s cool that I collect figures and have my own style, that I’m like him and Matty in that way. That he knows I don’t have friends like he does, that I mostly keep to myself, and that he actually thinks it’s cool how I just do my own thing. He didn’t say it outright, but to me, it felt like he was telling me that he knows I don’t have many friends, but he’s always going to be here. Then he said, “I’ve got loads of mates, but only Patrick is on that next level. Like me, you, and him—we can sit all night just talking about random cool shit, music, films, games… and you’re like that too. You’re my brother, and I love ya. I need you to know that.” Then, “Why did I do that to you? You’re my brother.” Like he was only just able to say it now. After that, he randomly mentioned Two and a Half Men. Since they took it off Amazon, he’s been watching it on ITV instead, and because ITV doesn’t ask, “Are you still watching?” he keeps falling asleep through whole seasons and has to keep going back to rewatch them. Figured that was probably annoying for me, hearing the same episodes through the wall all the time. Our rooms are next to each other, so we basically end up watching the same shows through proximity. Even though we don’t see each other or talk much, we’re still sort of there, in the same space. It was like his way of quietly acknowledging how inconsiderate he can be without outright saying it. It’s weird, hearing him say all of that. Admitting the guilt. Admitting how alike we are. Admitting he loves me. He never says stuff like that sober. Neither of us really say stuff like that at all. But we’ve always shared things in our own way—watching Dragon Ball and Naruto, getting into the same stuff, even if we don’t talk about it.

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