Ell | Cultivating Bold Spaces
Region: GB
Monday 12 May 2025 18:45:22 GMT
99441
9338
1050
692
Music
Download
Comments
Juan :
some time ago on this app I heard the phrase "most women don't want a deconstructed man, they want a benevolent patriarch" and it has haunted me ever since.
2025-05-12 19:39:41
1359
A :
I spent years in those fringe spaces and they’re alienating as a cis man. I doubt it’s the intention, but I always get a ‘we’ve invited the kings guard into a den of thieves’ vibe when I am in queer academic or art spaces. Toxic bro spaces always welcome me. Which ya know sucks
2025-05-13 15:29:24
286
Kaizen :
May you please explain why you think women need trad wives ?
2025-07-14 14:09:18
0
Ke Roy :
May I pose a question? You mentioned the idea of holding individuals responsible for misogyny. Would you also consider holding your female friends accountable for misandry?
2025-05-13 07:16:27
183
ShiftyTrout :
it's so refreshing to see a discussion on feminism that isn't just bashing men
2025-05-13 04:05:31
770
culturecrush :
I rarely see a discussion about being feminist at home but not at work offers another point of contradiction eg a male feminist paying 50/50 on dates then saying nothing about his female colleague earning way less than him
2025-05-12 19:42:33
24
wubba lubba dub dub🍉🇵🇸🔻 :
I'd think of it as women wanting the benefits of feminism. One foot firmly planted in feminism and the other foot in the patriarchy but just the bits that benefit them, hurt men, and keep women from being held accountable.
2025-05-13 13:23:32
205
Alex :
I think many women don’t want men who have done the work to heal and deconstruct the patriarchy because it forces them to deconstruct the ways they still uphold it. Like a kid that dreams of a toy only to be incensed that they need to put in some work to assemble it
2025-05-13 13:21:52
452
fuuuuuuuuum778 :
the masculine world is a jungle, what some feminists need to realise is that they can weaponise masculinity and men to combat the patriarchy and inequality but it's difficult because the current systems serves both male authority and feminine desires.
2025-07-18 12:58:49
0
Mumm-Ra :
I am an anti patriarchal man in a heterosexual relationship with an academic feminist. She is getting increasingly disappointed with the fact that I stay at home with our kid instead of being the provider. She is the stereotype of a blue haired feminist that opposes the patriarchy vehemently, but expects me to act and behave like the patriarchal standard of man
2025-05-24 17:43:04
55
redlomega33 :
there's no room for nuance in the mainstream of the feminist movement. Even calling for domestic abuse shelters for men, is seen as somehow evil, even though it'd be a great way to oppose the patriarchal idea that men can't be abused
2025-05-13 20:40:34
110
Aiden Hindmarsh :
I really feel this. I want to do things to be antipatriachal, but it's very difficult for me to challenge things that are misogynistic or patriarchal in nature since people just don't want to be lectured about offhand comments. Being able to express the freedom given to myself as a man when I'm acting in a way that subverts the patriarchy seems like a really good way to bring other men into the fold where telling them their grape joke isn't funny just won't ever get me anywhere, as much as pushing back against harmful behaviours like making light of abuse in a wya that's not a coping mechanism is still important. However, I think its important not to just throw away being strong and providing and protecting because I think those ideals have a lot of good to give communities. but I think we need to reframe them. move them from things that specifically men do into something that anyone with the ability to do, does. providing for others is something that can be a very joyful experience as much as it can be a huge burden when it's placed on your shoulders in a capacity you aren't ready for. and protecting others is the same, stepping up to the state and patriarchy and bad actors is rewarding but feeling like you've gotta be a protector but not knowing how that works or being fed false narrative or trying to be aesthetically a protector is exactly what I think we should avoid. 11/10 video
2025-07-11 02:35:32
0
leon :
I'm asking this in good faith: why can't a man be protector and be soft / emotionally available? I understand that not every man wants to be but why is it necessarily a bad thing?
2025-05-13 21:55:07
6
DtotheMtotheG :
Male feminist here: feminist women still find men physically attractive for those attribute that are male - height, strength, practical knowledge etc. It’s hard to then remove that from the character associated with it ie protector and provider. How do you square that circle?
2025-05-14 17:17:12
15
Sybau🙏 :
Here’s my unwanted opinion: maybe women want the 1950 style men because… biology and nature of human beings. And why 1950? I’d argue the roles were always the same before fourth wave feminism. In short feminism is like communism, utopia doesn’t exist, we’re a bunch of smart monkeys.
2025-05-14 00:05:11
3
richardc003 :
What if men are happy with how they are? What if caring for your family (by supporting and protecting them) is morally right? What if there is no way to push this on other people without it being inherently unjustifiable?
2025-05-13 18:13:36
2
thebluewizardofdetroit :
1/ I was just talking about how feminist men have no one to be around. Feminist spaces don't want them around and they aren't allowed to be feminist in misogynist spaces.
2025-05-13 20:19:23
25
Vienna_afr :
What does an anti-patriarchal man look like? How does he move? How does he behave?
2025-07-07 09:47:32
0
Mister F :
I’ve been feeling this way for a while. A lot of discourse about needing a progressive alternative to the manosphere focuses a lot on *who* should be positive role models for young men but not on *what* should be modeled to these young men (or really men in general). What does feminist masculinity look like?
2025-05-20 10:42:11
6
Goatous :
Your idea that feminism should ‘push against the gender norms of the 1950s’ is the problem. Why should it? Women have become more and more unhappy, every year since the 50s. We all should be pushing against feminism.
2025-06-27 13:36:52
4
Seamus O'Roar🇨🇦 :
I think part of the problem is that when the change is centered around how women are treated it's seen as a societal issue. When it's a change I how men are seen/treated, it's an issue men need to fix. Both need to be viewed as societal issues.
2025-05-30 16:45:57
2
Anologo :
This was the whole sprinkle sprinkle movement. Find a provider, but do so as a move of feminine empowerment. Pretty sad.
2025-05-12 21:55:14
243
Saint Ian :
There is real hypocrisy in feminism, and actually addressing it, instead of seeking out ways the discredited the intention of the people identifying it, is the way to progress the movement.
2025-05-13 14:18:38
11
MilkGrowsOnTrees :
3rd wave feminism is just misandry and its not even in disguise.
2025-05-22 23:32:31
10
GotyeFan99 :
wait, bell hooks gets it? I've struggled so much grappling with this idea and it comes off as me being anti-feminist whenever I bring it up but it brings me so much relief that there's respected works out there that articulate this
2025-05-14 00:23:15
20
To see more videos from user @cultivatingboldspaces, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
