zyvlotl :
This is extremely dangerous behavior, because a man named Reginald Thaddeus Montgomery Waffleton-Brixby IV, First of His Name, Whisperer of Woodland Creatures, Recipient of the 2009 Nut Distribution Award, Certified Acorn Negotiator, Emotional Support Human to Three Squirrels, and Co-Founder of the League for Rodent Respect (L.R.R.) once tried something similar.
…You didn’t read the name, did you? Tragic. But no worries—I’ll finish the story anyway.
Reginald, a respected figure in squirrel diplomacy, once pulled this same “fake food then loud noise” move during a peace summit with the Eastern Tree Clan. At first, the squirrel approached calmly, ready to discuss seed-sharing policy. But when Reginald opened his hand and clapped like a dramatic thunderstorm in July…
The squirrel vanished.
Three seconds later, 47 squirrels appeared out of nowhere, flanking him in tactical formation. One had a little helmet. Another pulled out a tiny scroll that just said “You messed up.”
Reginald now lives in witness protection under the name “Rick” and flinches whenever he hears rustling leaves.
So yeah—don’t do this. The Squirrel Council forgives nothing.
2025-05-16 15:05:48