SleepToken🔛🔝 :
So I heroically infiltrated Costco today without a membership—because I’m a sovereign citizen of vibes and bulk snacks. I waltzed in like I was on a divine mission, sampling everything in sight like some kind of low-budget demigod of free cheese cubes. Tossed a kayak, 400 AA batteries, and a coffin into my cart for good measure. That’s called manifesting.
Then I hit the food court, ready to feast like royalty. But suddenly—here comes the membership enforcer, demanding my “credentials” like this is a gated kingdom and I’m not a chosen one. I said, “Excuse me, I transcend your system.” They said “You need to leave.” I said “I identify as a Premium Gold Executive Plus Member.” Still no dice.
So naturally, I whipped out my Sam’s Club flag, wrapped it around my shoulders like a revolutionary war general, and started doing laps through the aisles shouting “I DECLARE ASYLUM!” They didn’t appreciate my passion for civil disobedience.
When they tried to escort me out, I claimed diplomatic immunity, took a rotisserie chicken as a cultural artifact, and started a symbolic fire by furiously rubbing together two oversized plush bears.
And STILL—no empathy. No parade. No exception. Just heartless enforcement of “rules.” Imagine.
Costco? More like Costn’t.
2025-06-13 21:05:04