that.tall.redhead :
I watched this full episode last night and I wow. This part alone was so powerful. At 9 years old I was SA’d by an evangelist. It continued for 4 years. The first time it happened was at the church itself. Skip ahead to four years later, I finally spoke out, and then so did others. However my home church family blamed me for not speaking up sooner. My parents were youth ministers at the time, but bc I was too scared to tell anyone for those 4 years, they were let go of those duties and we were told we weren’t welcome back in the church. I have let his actions haunt me in so many ways, and bc of those actions I figured God would never forgive me. I thought of myself as so damaged and impure. I have battled and wrestled with depression and for as long as I can remember. I tried to consider myself a survivor instead of a victim. I didn’t want to be damaged by him anymore, to be ruined by him anymore, but I saw no end in sight for my pain. Until recently. God told me exactly who I am, but it wasn’t a victim, and it wasn’t someone unworthy of love. He called me His. God has a calling on my life and I have always questioned what it was but I I felt like he just refused to answer. But it’s because I truly was not searching for Him, Glorifying Him, following Him, like I’m supposed to. Believing is one thing, but to truly try and make our Father proud of us is a completely different thing. I didn’t want to just believe in him anymore, I also wanted to walk with him. I’m in the early stages of writing a book. It will be honest and gut wrenchingly vulnerable. “Broken in the Sanctuary, Rebuilt in His Presence” 🙌🏻
2025-07-11 04:27:57