a :
i need my mom, but i cant find her.
i search for her in everyone else, the teachers who smiled a little too kindly, the friends who listen a little too patiently, but theyre just reflections. i search in the way some people hug a little too tightly, that way others say i love you without asking for anything in return. i search for the woman who remind me of what could have been, but the problem is theyre not her. they dont know what it feels like to be the child i was, the one who needed her mother and never got her, the don't know what its like to feel like im always on the outside looking in, never fully accepted, never fully loved the way i was supposed to be. its hard because the world tells me that im supposed to be strong that im supposed to learn to leave without her, but i cant stop needing her. even when im surrounded by people who claim to care, im still the little girl who begged her mom to love her for who she is and not what, she is. and underneath all the layers of "i dont need my mom anyway", theres a little girl asking me over and over why she wasnt enough for her own mother.
2025-07-23 16:06:17