Relationships With Aly
Region: US
Friday 27 June 2025 18:26:33 GMT
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Ginger Poomkin 🇨🇦 :
Why do we always have to gentle parent our boyfriends/husbands to avoid them getting defensive 😑
2025-06-29 00:15:02
1096
Elizabeth Simcha Grace 🌻 :
The mental load involved with being in a relationship with a defensive person is huge. It’s not our job to coach them into being an adult.
2025-06-28 00:13:48
1534
Sebastian Summers :
yea but when the drowning person pulls you down with them, and has done so many times, you start wondering if it's even worth it to say any drowning person. you assume they'll all just pull you down with them.
2025-06-29 01:08:12
5
Keisha Penney :
I’m soo sick of defensive people. I’m always giving grace and trying to approach from their perspective to still hit walls because their ego can’t just take responsibility. Such draining people!
2025-06-28 23:44:25
15
The Wonder Girl :
This is me and my sister. The other day I thought she making fun of me but she thought she being playful and it ended up badly. It always does.
2025-06-28 13:16:27
2
googlyeyes183 :
Yes!!! What makes me crazy is when I don’t even blame him for forgetting the life jackets. Never mentioned it, don’t care at all. But he STILL says I’m blaming him. No homie, you’re feeling guilty..I didn’t make you feel that, I didn’t attack you.
2025-06-28 01:57:43
275
Artemis :
I think a lot of y'all don't understand that people are people and you'll have a bad day too. maybe a bad week. maybe a bad year. maybe something will happen that'll cause you to become irrational or defensive. you are never going to be in a relationship that never has problems. if you do then one of you is hiding their feelings for the sake of "peace". you have problems with one another and you compromise. if you cannot compromise and work together against problems, whatever they may be, then just don't get into relationships until you get that a partnership is not perfection, it's compatibility through hardship. (not to mention that, yeah sometimes you need to change your tone so you don't trigger them until they can work through their reactions and learn better skills. because not a single person is born with the skill of "adulting" as you all call it. I swear y'all are using that word for "don't be a problem for me. Don't ever lean on me emotionally". people are not perfect. sometimes you are the person they learn how to be better with.
2025-06-29 16:59:42
1
Makeesha 🇨🇦 :
it's not about the tone. it's about them not taking responsibility for their own emotional reactions. exhausting
2025-07-02 23:17:10
27
denawinn197 :
it's not tone. it's they are triggered
2025-06-29 23:26:09
22
WitchUCantBurn :
the avoidant would -in fact- let them drown than facing their own fear of feeling shame or guilt...
2025-06-29 07:29:24
60
carrie_contrary :
Thanks and celebration for ✨contributing✨. They want a gold star for what we do every single day without any appreciation.
2025-06-27 22:55:41
129
JessBuKrahnan :
The tone will always be wrong. This is what I’ve learned. There is no correct enough tone
2025-06-28 17:36:50
1061
BaileyKay :
As a tone sensitive person I think this was so important for me to hear and get a visualization for.
2025-06-29 05:36:17
10
dmckpc :
How it actually goes: “Ok but you’re not actually drowning so can you stop freaking out?”
2025-06-30 14:57:25
65
Jazz ❤️🔥 :
break up with the defensive person they're gonna drive u crazy and make u actually want to attack them 💀
2025-06-29 08:47:25
14
Stardust🍁 🇵🇸🇺🇦 :
tone is so annoying. as an autistic person it's impossible to have the right one. I've just started saying 'its the what not the who' and that's been helping
2025-06-29 03:58:49
148
Kat :
As the “defensive” one I wasn’t being to sensitive they were in fact actually attacking me and blaming me for everything and hiding it as “that’s just my tone”
2025-06-29 15:33:55
4
Edward Tagg :
baby souls expect others to take responsibility for them
2025-06-28 12:08:27
13
wrigleyster :
Triggered. Maybe someone could take responsibility for the tone they're using, when they're hoping to illicit favours. Also, you're assuming that just because you feel the right to bite my head off, that I did in fact do or avoid doing something to deserve it. You don't need to be grateful, just be respectful when you're asking for help, and also when someone actually helps you.
2025-06-29 23:30:07
0
3rd.rock.beads :
Let's file this under 'conversations that could never happen with my husband'
2025-06-28 04:20:03
97
Algenie :
Cooked, cleaned, was the one with a job, handled his appointments, helped him get a car etc “I don’t like doing the dishes because you don’t praise me enough.” Meanwhile he doesn’t even know I cleaned the house he just thinks it looks that way.
2025-06-28 04:50:18
146
I was never given a name :
Taking responsibility only ever seems to work in one direction is the problem. Because whatever she does is always 100% justified.
2025-06-30 15:38:16
3
Scolker :
perception is reality, the tone made them feel criticised or judged and it hurts. Telling them they are misinterpreting the reason behind the tone is gaslighting
2025-06-29 10:03:31
4
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