@qiayiq: #CapCut

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Friday 04 July 2025 02:13:55 GMT
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Sometimes I wonder if some men even care what kind of sex they’re having—or if they’re just satisfied having access to a body. In the last 48 hours, one of my videos started gaining traction. In it, I said: I never have to have my body used on a schedule in order to keep my husband happy. And the internet did what the internet does. The men showed up to call me a hideous swamp witch. As if a woman’s only worth is in her beauty and sexual availability. (And yeah, I know I'm gorgeous - my husband tells me all the time - I'm not fishing for compliments here) But the comments that hurt the most weren’t from
Sometimes I wonder if some men even care what kind of sex they’re having—or if they’re just satisfied having access to a body. In the last 48 hours, one of my videos started gaining traction. In it, I said: I never have to have my body used on a schedule in order to keep my husband happy. And the internet did what the internet does. The men showed up to call me a hideous swamp witch. As if a woman’s only worth is in her beauty and sexual availability. (And yeah, I know I'm gorgeous - my husband tells me all the time - I'm not fishing for compliments here) But the comments that hurt the most weren’t from "Mommy's Basement Dwellers." They were from evangelical women. Women calling me unChristian for saying sex should be mutual. Women calling me a sinner for suggesting they’re allowed to say no—even when the sex is painful, disconnected, or filled with dread. There was a lot of discussion of how a wife should WANT to have sex with her husband. And on the surface? I agree. Healthy women, in safe marriages, don't turn down good sex for no reason. A healthy woman in a safe marriage should absolutely want to have sex with her husband. But obligation sex isn’t healthy sex. And it makes me wonder—do some men even care if the sex they’re having is healthy? I can’t tell you how many women show up in my DMs or in a coaching session crying because if they don’t “put out” every two or three days, their husband gets moody. Starts slamming doors. Gets mean with the kids. Makes nasty comments. And he justifies it by telling her, "Pastor said men God created men to need sex every three days!" Does that man want to connect with her soul, or is his only concern his own orgasm? The longer I do this work, the heavier it gets. Every time a video goes sideways, the same kind of men show up—screaming in the comments about how women are worthless if they aren’t handing out orgasms like candy. (Or at the very least, are conventionally attractive) It breaks my heart for the women in those men's lives. And it breaks my heart for the men too. Because that man doesn’t believe he is choosable. He doesn’t trust that his wife could ever want him. So he clings to duty. Obligation. Control. Because he’s terrified of being unwanted. He cannot conceive of a reality in which she looks at him, and decides to choose him simply because of who he is. Let me make this crystal clear: If you feel obligated to perform sexual acts on a calendar schedule… If you’re not enjoying it… If the goal is only his satisfaction… That is not Biblical sex. That is not God’s design. That is coercion dressed up in a memory verse. The only model for healthy sexuality that we see in scripture is mutual pleasure. We never see sex being used to regulate anyone's emotions. We never see sex being an obligation that is performed for only one person's enjoyment. You both deserve better. #TheChristianSexpert #SacrificialSex #BiblicalSex #MutualPleasure #ChristianMarriage #SexualIntimacy #MaritalCoercion #ObligationSex

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