@eldestdaughternotes: And this is why nice guys finish last … kiddding (but not really 🫠). Kindness is who you are without an audience, niceness is how you act or perform for others. While niceness isn’t inherently bad, is it true to you? Do you choose to nice because you want to or because you fear the repercussions of not being liked or agreable? Do you think you have to be nice in order to be liked and accepted by others?? If so, you may be entering people pleasing territory + self-abandonment territory 😱 So how do you stop this?? 1. Get comfortable, REALLY comfortable, with being disliked. Like, super comfortable. You don’t like everyone, so why would everyone like you? That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself! Someone’s dislike of you does not reflect on your value or worth as an individual. Only you can determine your value. Also, being disliked ≠ being bad. Some people dislike ice cream, that doesn’t make ice cream a moral failure or a bad thing. It’s a difference of opinion, and that’s human nature. We’re not meant to like everything or everyone in our or environment. We’re meant to practice discernment and recognize what’s working and what’s not. So, get used to being disliked. You’ll be happier for it 2. LEARN TO SAY NO. No will become your favorite word in the dictionary once you become comfortable with it. Once again, saying no ≠ being a bad person. Equating saying no to being a moral failure is what keeps you doing and agreeing to things that you fully don’t want to do or agree to! You’ve never viewed someone else as a moral failure for saying no, so why do you view yourself in that light? Just as no one is a good person for saying yes, no one is a bad person for saying no. No and yes are simply words with no moral value. REMEMBER! The people that truly love and value you as a person will continue to do the same not because of how well you treat them, but because of who you are. They love you not for your actions , but for your presence. Community is found with genuine connections, not an exchange of surface-level niceness and platitudes. Find your community by being you, not what others expect from you. Remember to stay true to your principles, morals, and values because at the end of the day, there’s only one you and no one can replace that. So stay true to you - love, a fellow eldest daughter 🤍🤍#eldestdaughter #sayno #boundaries #kind #nice #beingdisliked #meangirl #eldestdaughterproblems #eldestdaughterthings #eldestdaughtersyndrome #fionagallagher #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfabandonment #abandoningyourself #abandonmentwound #fearofabandonment #couragetobedisliked #kindness #niceguysfinishlast #lol #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp

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