Give It To Me Straight
Region: US
Monday 14 July 2025 17:07:11 GMT
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Katya LaViola :
This was me pre kid. I didn’t want to hang out with my friends while trying to have adult time/conversation and having their toddler interrupt us every 2 minutes and have to wait for everything lol. Now I have a baby…I GET IT! Those who don’t have kids don’t understand yet, that’s all🫶🏻
2025-07-17 18:33:35
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Mama_Bear 🧸 :
I think it’s perfectly okay to outgrow friendships and to mourn who you thought your village would be. But even if you don’t “expect” it, you’re still hopeful your people will stay your people & it can be extremely isolating & depressing if they are not.
2025-07-15 20:45:54
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Kate Rosselli :
Heavy on the “you’re the one who changed”
2025-07-14 17:17:40
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user7787180122615 :
I don’t expect them to want my kid around and I always assume I’ll get a babysitter when we make plans BUT I do still expect them to invite us to things and work to maintain a friendship as I would do for them
2025-07-14 17:13:57
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Valeska | 📚📝🌮 :
Yea idk about the “better friends” comments. But I certainly didn’t expect to lose lifelong friends because I became a parent. As a very independent person who works hard to have my own identity out of my kids…it is a lifelong hurt for me. I only lost one friend but I think about it often because every other relationship was completely fine.
2025-07-14 19:34:00
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Nicolette :
What ppl don’t tell you when you get pregnant and have a baby, you lose friends. Some you didn’t expect to loose, and others you choose to lose. The people you chose to be around will be the ones influencing your child(ren). The friend who is wild and crazy, drinks, smokes, etc was totally the life of the party but now that youre a parent, you might not want that around your kids. But the one who was always the boring bc they stayed in, Netflix and snacks - might just be your new bestie.
2025-07-14 18:26:47
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Gabrielle :
I have a strong group of friends that when people started having kids we worked with them on ways to hang out. Whether we went to their house or they brought their kids (or not) we always make it work. Their kids are now apart of our friend group and we like to include them. If we make adult plans and they can’t find a sitter then that’s on them and it happens.
2025-07-18 04:19:26
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JIN tonic🍒🇲🇽 :
Their opinion is gonna change once they’re actually parents lmao
2025-07-16 01:15:50
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Ellies Guide to Buying Nothing :
It’s not that we don’t want to hangout. It’s more like a parents schedule revolves around their kids nap times/ bedtimes now. Which if fine, but those with no kids want to be out during the entire day or late nights, which doesn’t work for those who have kids. The only thing my friends (who have kids) can do is a 2 hour dinner or a lunch
2025-07-14 18:33:32
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jamielee0123 :
Hard disagree. This has to be so isolating and sad for the parents. Their friends are not accepting and welcoming of this new life. I don’t believe those are true friends
2025-08-02 20:41:23
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Gabe Pearson :
I swear the idea of lifelong friends who always see eachother and never grow apart is only for movies and tv shows
2025-07-14 18:01:35
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TMB :
I disagree with this take personally. I think that it can feel very isolating to lose the people you thought were gonna be a part of your village when you have children. And by village, I don’t mean babysitting your child. I mean being there to socialize with you and still love you after you’ve “changed“ and had added a child to your family. They say you find out who your friends are after you have a kid, and this is the reason why. I do understand where you're coming from, but respectfully disagree ♥️
2025-07-14 18:34:34
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Alyssa Gold :
I understand where you guys are coming from. BUT as someone who is very much in this season of life, we CONSTANTLY tried to make plans going out with friends and setting up a sitter so it would be just us and we still don’t get included. Literally had an overnight baby sitter set up so we could stay out do whatever and nothing. We’ve had to literally ask people that if there’s plans to just let us know because we’d still be interested but they never do. I’ve always been accepting of those who had kids before us, trying to include their kids or make it work, and I get that not everyone wants kids around and I’m totally okay with that, it’s when even when it’s just you and not you and your kid you’re getting left out, that’s where my problem lies.
2025-07-14 19:58:53
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wiscoheather :
but also be prepared, you don't know how different you are as a parent. I struggle way more than I expected since having my son to step away, or do things without him. I'm working on it, but it shouldn't feel like a punishment that I couldn't predict the isolation that came with parenthood while also being a parent.
2025-07-15 03:48:29
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Autumnisfun :
Never had this issue because people in my culture embrace all sorts of hangouts. With kids, without kids, we build our communities around what is in our lives, and if kids are part of the package, we’ll welcome them. America is too individual focused, IMO
2025-07-15 02:11:22
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bsquared :
Really appreciate this take! I’ve chosen to be child-free and sometimes I want to hang out with my friends and their kids! But also, sometimes I just miss my friend! Call me crazy but I liked my friends as people before they were parents 😅
2025-07-14 17:21:30
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missag43 :
Ouch. This really lack empathy. It’s not an easy answer, but it’s not easy time either. I think them finding times they can hang out with those individuals and committing to child care of some sort is going to be important. And what’s nice, is that the activities you start doing, say dance or gymnastics or soccer. You start shifting your life.
2025-07-14 22:40:38
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SunshineVibes :
That’s what you say now. Then you have children and you realize they are the best part of you. And you take it as a personal dig on who you are that your friends donr want to be around you anymore. There’s no obligation, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It will.
2025-07-15 01:19:12
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Jade🌻 :
i truly think it depends on the perspective. are the friends not hanging out with them BECAUSE they had a kid? or is it they don’t want to hang out WITH them and the kid. i think it’s different if the parents are willing to go out without the baby but the friends seem distant.
2025-07-16 14:30:36
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user930pm :
this is what I'm going thru. except I have 2year old twins and SAHM who have 1 baby don't follow up with making playdates with me/ my twins. we get left out of alot of plans
2025-07-14 17:17:34
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Steph Penn :
I have had friends who have stuck by me through having my children and I have lost friends. And most importantly, I have gained “mom friends”. You basically have to just take what comes and go from there because you don’t know how people will react until it happens.
2025-07-26 14:42:18
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Beccachino :
You don’t expect it but there is a grief of losing friends you think will be with you. Mother’s groups, library story time and other kids activity groups help find mum friends. It is harder for the dads.
2025-07-15 01:36:46
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brucegonzalez1999 :
I believe you guys are right about friends, not being required to hang out with you just because you have a kid with you, but at the same time people who are truly a part of your life should want to be a part of your and your kids lives, because your children are a part of your life now And people should want to be a part of that as well
2025-07-16 05:54:49
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Holly Kelsey :
some parents start talking about only their kids and that's a problem. if you're hanging with them maybe be mindful how often you tell stories about your kids. it's hard when you're kids are everything
2025-07-15 15:04:45
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