askgeevs
Region: US
Thursday 17 July 2025 21:49:44 GMT
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Above Average Joe :
Wow, just wow! This is another one that hits home all too hard. This is my situation right now nearly to a tee….however we have been married for 22 years and its just really got me broken. She left me, again, and is currently with her mom as far as I know. I haven’t seen her and she hasn’t spoken to me in a little over 2 weeks now. This is literally right after I took her across the country to visit places she always wanted to go, then we had to goto the opposite side of the country a week or two later due to my dad passing and thennnn I took her and my daughter on another trip to one of these places…we all had a good time but when we got back home she kinda went upside down on me again out of nowhere and disappeared. She did reach out on Sunday for the first time regarding our granddaughter but the text began with “if we want to see her than we have to come up with a plan I suggest”. I was blown away that this was the first thing she said to me in so long and had no idea how to respond to that. 22 years. We’ve got 2 wonderful grown kids and a granddaughter. This is the hardest time of my life, she has been my best friend forever and now I’m lost but have been trying to get back together. Thank you for your insight, it is much appreciated!
2025-07-18 02:56:17
5
Toddrick :
I am secure and she presented as secure for first 6 months. Then there were little deactivations and needing space episodes that came up. I finally figured out she didn’t know how to handle closeness, receive or reciprocate love. She definitely pulled me anxious. It lasted 11 months. Two months since breakup and I’m in a much better place. ❤️🩹
2025-07-18 20:04:53
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Luthando Trevor Thwani :
Are you healed or you are healing or dependent on your secure partner??
2025-08-01 09:34:58
1
Gabe487 :
I was secure but she pushed me to my limit
2025-07-18 06:19:32
58
Charmeleon_alt_art :
It's a lose lose situation.
2025-07-18 04:35:33
25
Sean :
I lean anxious but I feel like I’m pretty secure now. With an FA. We are ENM. The hot and cold is wild but it’s also wild seeing her open up and show me her inner world at her own pace. I hope I’m not abandoning myself but I’m here with her for now. The more I let her step away the more she trusts me when she comes back. Meanwhile I’m doing my own thing.
2025-07-18 13:22:57
3
Jeremy Eilert :
I think she figured out somehow that I was about to propose to her and she panicked. Even though she had been sending me hints about an engagement etc. when it got real she freaked out and met another guy at a bar. Our love was REAL. I know it was, she’s still with this guy 4 months later. I still love her more than anything and want her back.
2025-07-22 23:15:19
3
PeterlProsser :
This is interesting. It feels like she’s just using me some times. Can’t give love or even open up, how am I supposed to want marriage with someone that won’t even share her day with me?
2025-07-17 23:01:26
10
DashbeardConfessional :
This was my sign. I did the work as an anxious style to become secure and all of a sudden the woman I wanted to marry seems so unattractive with her tendencies
2025-07-18 15:01:28
25
Vladimir Berrios :
Only Sith deal in absolutes..
2025-07-18 02:13:21
39
💯% Zebulon‼️ :
Thank you🥰
2025-07-18 22:28:31
0
deweeeeeezy :
Couldn’t the man work on his anxious man work on becoming secure and lead her to secure too. I know it sounds like alot of work but if you both love each other isn’t it worth it?
2025-07-19 15:11:24
0
orlandoflores0350 :
Yes I was with fearful avoidant, she had the hot and cold dilema she friend zoned me, so I had to leave her
2025-07-18 14:02:23
3
Mischief :
You explained this so well. I was the anxious man and she was FA. After 8 months of push and pull I took the courage to break up with her even though it hurt like a mf. Its been 3 months and I still miss her but I am in strict no contact and I have not dated anyone yet whereas she started dating again a week later. She has some of my stuff and she isn't willing to give it to me. I reached out twice but didn't get a response I don't know whats going on
2025-07-20 03:05:29
1
Vincent_xx :
how to get her to pick me ?
2025-07-29 08:16:56
0
nope :
Yes I’ve experienced this, you nailed it to the T
2025-07-21 16:30:22
0
mattnelson188 :
had to walk away!
2025-07-18 09:27:34
14
silverlinings85 :
Thank you 👏 I need more female FA content
2025-07-18 08:21:21
5
J Brennan :
Really needed this today. God bless.
2025-07-17 21:55:20
3
Maxamed Daahir Ismacil :
which one do fearful women to have a solid relation ship dismissive avoidant or secure man
2025-07-17 23:45:07
1
V :
I was able to be present but completely disconnect without reacting but this is the second break up so likely she is triggered into anxious watching my stories multiple times a day for weeks?
2025-07-18 14:49:46
3
1293493user :
I’m in this situation with a friend. She’s amazing, does all that, weve been through a lot. But yeah, she denied but didn’t exactly reject me… kept the door open too. So I walked away and guess what? She came back and broke no contact after her and I had an high emotional moment. I thought she was done but nope she came right back. But yep, she kinda disappeared again but we hang out a lot cuz we have a big group of friends. Idk it’s weird. What should I do? should I just walk ? I don’t like the idea of giving up easily because I can feel she has feelings for me, then again I’m not gonna be this person waiting forever. eh.
2025-07-24 00:52:27
0
user4194492625700 :
Is the issue she won’t attract secure men unless she starts healing?
2025-07-18 02:29:58
3
LEO :
Every time I left she come back and when I started pouring into her she leaves again I realised that my cup was getting emptied every time she returned and left until I had nothing left to give what I don’t understand is why she tried to make me jealous if she’s not interested in a relationship and she told me she didn’t wanna lose me as a friend but she was dating someone else I felt so bad I had to say no as I need to put myself first and that’s when she started again aggressive and nasty because I was moving on even though she was engaged to someone else now so confusing and so damaging ☹️
2025-07-19 19:14:33
0
Dreki 🆘🇺🇸 :
So I met and really hit it off with someone last year. She clearly said she felt the same but went fearful avoidant. Initially I was anxiously attached but I quickly pulled myself out of it as I held onto how secure I felt in her presence. She’s very clearly showing progress on her end of working her way out of her fearful avoidance.
2025-07-18 07:49:37
0
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