Jola Jovani
Region: CA
Friday 18 July 2025 02:02:37 GMT
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Yuh :
Maybe some haven’t had to deal with this but it’s exhausting being the only one to bring things up and your partner doesn’t unless you say something. It’s invalidating.
2025-07-18 14:55:52
2283
Scarlet Adare :
curiosity and validation first 💞
2025-07-18 03:26:03
1115
Alison Morrell :
This is fantastic! “Wait your turn”
2025-07-18 14:42:37
950
zyzzy :
my ex would do this. anytime I wanted to talk about something that was hurting me in the relationship, it would turn into a conversation about how it hurt his feelings that I had feelings to hurt. so I stopped telling him when he hurt my feelings 🤷♀️
2025-07-18 04:23:28
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Onitai :
all the upsetti people in comments didnt hear the "dont bulldoze over my emotions part." you CAN talk about your feelings, after your partner or YOU have been validated and heard. 1 person goes first then the other. youre both on equal footing however retaliating with your feelings being hurt in spite of them coming to talk to YOU and about an issue they are being open about, isnt going to make them wanna initiate ever again. and yes of course if its the only thing they do its a problem, and i mean if they only bring up problems with no solutions. however you also need to initiate.
2025-07-18 15:41:18
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Feral Mom :
I've told my husband "there is a time and place for that, and in the middle of me expressing mine is not it"
2025-07-18 21:14:01
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Jess :
I feel like replying with “ wow that makes me so sad, I totally understand” is both validating and give you the opportunity to tell your feelings at the same time
2025-07-18 11:17:06
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slapsinwinter :
To be clear, wait my turn just puts you first and sets unequal conditions.
2025-07-18 03:51:51
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Kait :
I think many men in particular do not even realize they’re allowed to bring up their feelings first, so they’re like oh awesome she decided it’s feelings time, here’s all mine I’ve been saving up!! Initiating a conversation about emotions doesn’t seem to occur to many of them because it was discouraged early in life. Frustrating for all.
2025-07-18 22:37:50
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The Artist :
I've been telling my wife this for ages and she DOES NOT GET IT. Allow me the space to get my issue off, listen, digest, respond. Take a beat, then give me your issues and I'll do the same. I feel seen.
2025-07-18 21:01:04
19
notdeadjustyet :
Yes! If the person that is being approached wants to be heard by the approacher, they need to hear them out first, THEN they can bring up how they feel!
2025-07-18 16:37:34
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user234936866353 :
THIS!!
2025-07-18 03:46:01
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N o v a 🦄🤍💫 :
Omgsh you're not allowed to piggyback on my airtime LOL Especiallyyyyyy cos it takes courage to bring things up. Bring your things up on your own ♥️
2025-07-18 20:08:37
6
morgan.scarbrough :
I had an ex who would do this in such a passive agressive way. I would bring up something that was bothering me and he would stonewall and get all depressed and do the whole “I guess I just can’t do anything right bc I’m such a piece of shit” routine we only lasted about 3 months
2025-07-18 21:59:11
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Lisa Turner :
pls put this on his fyp. IM BEGGING
2025-07-18 16:57:23
5
Konrad Klysz :
He can also communicate a lack of capacity and forward that conversation to a next point in time.
2025-07-18 18:01:04
3
z. :
sent this to him
2025-07-18 15:33:11
3
mydearkat :
what makes it sad is that this even has to be explained, like everyone is a child and you have to say, “wait your turn”
2025-07-18 23:55:03
3
hope_peddler :
This is why my last relationship ended. I had to erase all my feelings. I wasn’t allowed to have negative emotions
2025-07-18 19:25:31
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🍑WELSH-PEACH🍑 :
Se not validating hers over his , if he started the hard conversation then she wouldn’t be able to ‘bulldoze over his with her problems and the other way around
2025-07-18 18:21:12
2
Elle Cee 🇨🇦🏴 :
I had an ex do this CONSTANTLY. I would raise a legitimate issue and it would become all about him and his pain to the point where it would end with me comforting him. None of my concerns were ever resolved. It was years of this pattern until I realized I had been invalidated so many times, I no longer felt safe to bring up concerns with him. I’m still unlearning this fear of speaking up in my relationships now
2025-07-18 23:29:09
2
Tanaka Maurice Munyoro :
It’s simple, learn to both communicate your feelings clearly and learn to both understand each other’s feelings. What’s even most important is to learn to accept when you wrong or handle the situation when you right🔥💪🏾
2025-07-18 13:42:57
2
Torre :
most cases this has proven successful
2025-07-18 21:22:50
1
Laur :
but if the person wait their turn and tell me later/after « I am sad about having those hard conversations », won’t I have the same issue being ‘I am scared of bringing hard subjects cause I know you’ll be sad’? cause I am in this situation and agree but don’t know how to do :)
2025-07-18 21:55:35
1
DnQ_💙 :
Very important!
2025-07-18 10:07:03
1
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