@alexsedlak1: One of the weirdest things I’ve dealt with

aaa bbb :

Been there. You can’t be more wrong, my brother. The thing you are doing - you are escaping pain. Thats not maturing, that’s not becoming more man. Numbing yourself is hiding your deep rooted anger, sadness and shame. Being a man, becoming mature - is facing your pain and trauma, not burying it alive under what’s called “man”. “Face you demons - be a man”.