Lauren
Region: US
Monday 21 July 2025 20:27:16 GMT
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Choppaotta :
Is there a day/days you have free? You could try being really specific. "Hey, I would love to take the kids to do *insert activity here* for *insert time frame here* on Saturday. Would you be ok with that?" Or. "I have Thursday afternoons free. I was wondering if I could take the kids for ice cream or to the park one Thursday. Would that work for you?" You could also try to see if there was an activity or task she needs help with. "I bet grocery shopping is hard right now. I would love to come over and watch the kids on Friday morning if you wanted some time to be able to run errands without worrying about the kids."
2025-07-21 21:58:32
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cjmngo :
Is there a way that you can go along for the ride on stuff they’re doing anyway vs hanging out specifically? Like if they have sports or activities or whatever, just tag along.
2025-07-21 21:20:26
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Rezzi :
I'm happy to PM with you about this too, but I don't think it's too much to ask. I would bet she also feels bad that she can't make time. There's a bunch of good suggestions here, and I think the tagging along for errands one would be the most solid for me, personally.
2025-07-21 23:30:52
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Caitlin :
As an older sister with kids and a strained sibling relationship, it’s hard. It’s hard keep track of kids not to mention she could have ppd or just be completely overwhelmed. See if you can bring her a coffee/tea/cupcake, help shopping or making dinner. At the end of the day, if you’re trying to, you’ve done your part.
2025-07-21 21:42:45
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Gabo 💙✨ :
It’s not too much to ask! Yes life gets busy, especially when you have children but there needs to be compromise on both ends not just yours! If you haven’t yet, I would tell her how important it is that you spend some quality time together. It doesn’t have to be a whole thing, even if it’s just you coming over a few days a month (or whatever works best for both of you). Having you go there gives a more “Hey you don’t have to pack up the kids and go on an adventure, I just want to see YOU and your children”. Offer to bring coffee, make/order in lunch,etc. Maybe a “hey, I love you and I want to spend time with you and your family, I miss you and I’d like you to be in my life more.”
2025-07-21 20:38:12
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burichuu :
I’m running into similar with my youngest sister and her family. I FINALLY met my new niece at six months old back in May. It’s like there’s never a good time. 😔
2025-07-22 05:54:04
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💀 Morbid Curiosity 💀 :
I'm gonna text you about this because I have too many thoughts for the comment section
2025-07-21 20:41:40
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Jennijoy :
It’s not too much to ask.
2025-07-21 20:44:14
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Heather :
🥺🤍
2025-07-21 20:59:43
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Isi Fox :
Your feelings are definitely valid! If you are both neurodivergent you may be experiencing rejection sensitivity and she may be having an issue with object permanence… as someone who has that with people (even those I am very close to but that aren’t physically present in my life regularly) that’s kind of what it sounds like, and for me it was a lot worse when my kids were younger and less independent. You may have to go about it with a different approach like “hey, I’m free on these days and times to come bring take out for you and the kids for lunch and hang out and chat or help you clean the house or whatever you need me to do so that I can spend some time getting to know my nieces better while lightening your load a little”. That kind of forced her to commit to a scheduled time but also shows your intent more clearly. And if that works, just make it a habit! My mother-in-law does that with me so that we have once a month girls days to get us both out of the house for lunch and it’s been a huge help having her phrase it like that for me. I hope you find your stride, it sounds like you guys are moving in a better direction and hopefully she wants to get to a more outwardly loving place now with you too ❤️❤️❤️
2025-07-21 21:31:33
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Kelly :
I’ve been in your shoes. My half-sister, who is 15 years older than me, wanted to be more involved in my life and get to know my son. But at the time, I was drowning in the chaos of new motherhood, and I couldn’t see her request as anything other than one more thing to manage. Eventually, she sat me down and said: "I want to be a foundation of support in your life. You mean a great deal to me, and so does your son. I would love the opportunity to help you and spend time with him. Is there a rhythm we can create where I can consistently show up for you? Even if it’s something small, like a weekly date night where I babysit, a weekend with Auntie, or taking him to a regular activity. I love you. I love him. I just want to be here in a way that matters." And with that, everything shifted. Our relationship became a real source of safety and trust. My son gained someone steady in his corner. His village got stronger. I just want to say you’re not asking too much. You’re both living life for the first time. It will work out. ❤️
2025-07-21 21:08:18
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