Jay🍒🎱🍸
Region: US
Tuesday 22 July 2025 19:01:02 GMT
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𝓚𝓪𝓽 ❦ :
I hate being the eldest daughter.
2025-07-24 16:45:49
1471
Leslie Brooks :
Once I heard the quote, “When the second child succeeds, it’s a celebration. When the eldest daughter does, it’s just meeting expectations—so there’s no praise left to give.” It healed something in me. I no longer feel the intense sense of guilt for moving 6 hours away. Having success is a burden that has placed on me since I was born and the only person who is going to give me a “you’re doing great” is me, myself, and I. I’m about to be 26 and my brother is 16. I was a straight A student in the top 1% of my class. My parents would check my grades every week and if I had below a 90 on any assignments, they took sports away from me for the week after. My brother failed a class and a regents (NY) and gets a “you’re as smart as Leslie you just don’t test well. Also you’re way better at sports than she ever was”. They consistently diminish me and my success to build my brother up. I have two masters degrees and I got a “so what’s next” at my last commencement.
2025-07-23 13:58:29
4634
Jovi 💕 :
Our siblings really don’t understand that we didn’t get the same version of our parents
2025-07-23 16:48:34
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Samantha Jane :
This is why so many eldest daughters have autoimmune conditions
2025-07-23 16:01:17
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racheal🎀 :
I stopped talking a guy because once again I told him I’m not here to be your mother as an eldest daughter I want someone who doesn’t need saving. Someone who doesn’t mistake my nurturing heart for permission to drain it. I crave softness, reciprocity, being seen and cared for without having to earn it through emotional labour.
2025-07-23 12:56:20
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msellenbee :
Wait until you get to the point of IDGAF-- it's very freeing.
2025-07-23 16:05:46
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NICOLE :
Being the oldest feels like a curse sometimes, not even trynna be dramatic. Like why am I the test? And why am I watching my younger siblings get a different mom than I had??
2025-07-24 08:12:23
33
Cranjis mcbasketball :
couldn’t play sports freshman year bc I had to babysit my baby sister after school every. single. day. 🙃
2025-07-31 22:55:43
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ashypoo :
I feel like I can’t be myself at home or around any family because I can’t be accepted and I get it. I’m exhausted literally all the time I feel like I can never live up to expectations and how my sister gets away with stuff I wouldn’t have at that age (10 years apart she’s 6) but I’m expected to take care of her when I’m needed. But any other time I’m just big sis who has no authority even though I helped raise her. And I am not allowed to talk freely about any of my feelings I feel like even with my mom I have to be careful of what I say so I don’t make her upset cuz If I do then all hell breaks loose. I spend majority of my time away from the people who are supposed to be there and my house is not a home and the people who are supposed to be a family aren’t. My stepdad is abusive and my mom won’t leave but complains to me all the time about him and then puts on this happy face like she wasn’t just talking shit about him. And my sister is allowed to get away with hitting me and kicking me but it’s no biggie and I’m supposed to be the bigger person. I’m supposed to share my hobbies with my sister when I don’t want to because they are mine and mine only. I’m
2025-07-25 14:04:45
1
Dejanæ :
thiiissss especially the mean angry sibling part and I think it builds resentment in our relationships with others because they see that performance and perfection as well as the wisdom and strength that comes from it as a barrier to intimacy
2025-07-23 01:53:31
379
kins:)) :
another reason why I don’t want kids; I’ve parented enough with parenting since a young age being the oldest.
2025-07-24 00:42:35
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Phi. :
I pray that God give eldest daughter the peace that surpasses all understanding, the expectations being placed on us that feels like all screws have gone missing trying figure it out! May he take that weight and clear us from these moment’s bcuz there’s strength in why he Chose us ; why he chose YOU! With the impact you exude May every elder daughter, niece, cousin that encounters you be blessed with why God chose you ! He sees us were his baby girls All will be well 💐💕 - sincerely Eldest Daught
2025-07-24 07:37:18
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Potledom :
Who’s going to take care of us? We are very considerate of other people & their feelings. I definitely understand.
2025-07-22 21:24:43
7893
My2Sense :
I’m eldest child and my daughter is eldest child and we talk about this all the time. Thank you for sharing.💯💯💯
2025-07-31 16:40:35
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neptune adjacent :
I’m 19 and genuinely so tired and burnt out. I feel like I can’t be my authentic self. like I’m constantly performing and it’s to the point where I can’t manifest who I am on the inside on the outside. it’s so much built up tension in my body that I constantly feel
2025-07-23 14:29:00
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Shelly Gee :
Yup! I just said this earlier today, “I don’t have a ME in my life to run to, save me, lighten the load when I’m weak.” I am the eldest daughter. I’m it.
2025-07-22 23:32:42
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tysmanythoughts :
Then your siblings are just like well nobody requires you to be that way you decided to do that……
2025-07-25 12:11:51
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mslaurenaustin44 :
Agree with everything you said! The feeling of just constantly living in your head and over analysing every conversation and interaction. Always feeling tired and drained even on days off cause I’m never truly resting I’m always in my head!
2025-07-22 19:40:26
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dncr8 :
All of this made sense. It feels like just letting life pass you by and wonder when you might be able to finally prioritize yourself but then feeling guilty for even thinking about putting yourself first. Had this exact conversation with my therapist this week because we found it to be the root of so much of my anxiety and why I struggle to be present. So, the only thing I can say, which might not be much, is yes, all of this makes sense. No, you’re not evil for wanting to do things for yourself or for feeling resentment about being the eldest, and you deserve to be loved, understood, seen, and at peace just for who you are. 🩷
2025-07-22 20:25:57
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Brooke B :
I’m not mean i just have never felt good enough ever. I’ve never once felt like i was working hard enough or doing enough. It’s exhausting
2025-07-22 23:57:48
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m ✮ :
it’s exhausting
2025-07-23 02:33:51
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KamiaSquared :
I have never felt so seen 🥹
2025-08-01 15:48:34
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Titi :
Being the eldest is not for the weak , I felt this so badddddd. Not only am I the eldest daughter but I am the second mother , therapist, driver, stylist , hairdresser , mediator etc
2025-07-23 08:32:49
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thesofttheoryclub :
As an eldest daughter, I always wondered what having an elder sibling would mean for me…..but I ended up being blessed with 2 best friends who are also eldest daughters in different age groups and we have become each other’s person to run to. It’s not the same as a sibling but it’s the closest I’ll get and am happy with that
2025-07-24 20:15:23
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