llove_lola
Region: US
Wednesday 23 July 2025 02:50:00 GMT
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SugaTay :
I see a lot of people saying that she needs to pay her debt. However no one‘s taking into consideration that she will be the one that has to take six weeks to 12 weeks off work. She will be the one that probably calls off work. He wants children from her. Which will prevent her from working to pay off these debts so it makes sense.
2025-07-23 12:34:00
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Sara Gene Rhodes :
Pick a wife you can afford, period. She was clear about her expectations… if you can’t meet them, tell her that and either y’all come up with a solution or split.
2025-07-23 04:26:51
124
EllyJane2015 :
communicate!!! can you work together to do this faster? is there a way to budget well enough to make it work? can you compromise on things that need to be done before kids? talk to your partner!!!
2025-07-23 16:09:31
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Michelle :
My personal opinion is that both should be debt free before marriage…
2025-07-23 03:51:40
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floella :
If at 35 she's still saying having children 'eventually ', I'd say they're at different places. Also don't think her cc debt was coz of mishandling funds, he said was becoz of accident
2025-07-23 03:17:37
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Thunderbunny21 :
Putting off kids until debts are paid off isn’t unreasonable. Kids are expensive without previous debts on your back
2025-07-23 20:34:35
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Jaded One :
I get him not wanting to just absorb her debt. I also get her not wanting to have kids with debt hanging over her head. If everything goes south, she will have kids to support AND debt to pay. It’s just not smart, especially since kids are a higher priority for him than her (and modern relationships fail more often than they succeed). She should move in to the townhouse and put her rent money towards the debt. The more she can throw at it, the faster it will be paid off. Once her debt is gone, the extra money could go towards the big house she wants. She definitely earns enough to pay more towards the debt so the lifestyle change is on her. If she wants the vacation and home, she’ll pay that debt off as fast as possible.
2025-07-23 18:05:55
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Allie Hinz :
She makes $125k and is only paying $1200 a month to all of those debts?! Sound like she's not living within her means, or they aren't a priority if she can't put more towards them.
2025-07-23 12:20:15
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Licho :
shes not serious about you
2025-07-26 15:11:29
1
Dani 💖 Noel :
I don’t think it’s ridiculous to have high expectations for the situation you want to bring kids into the world in. Because you never know where you are going to be in the future. So wanting to have some stability (the kind you cannot get in an apartment it is WAY easier to be evicted than loose your home). I mean having a human being that you are fully responsible for is the biggest choice a person can make. Having high standards to do so doesn’t seem that wild to me
2025-07-23 10:23:59
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CollMic :
I’d be open to refinance the mortgage into both names & pay off debt with that. I’d probably stay in the current house because it allows you both to then have only mortgage debt. In the refi maybe include a bit extra for the wedding or travel. Later, after child 1 consider moving. Then you have comfortable debt as she’ll have time off when a baby is born
2025-07-23 11:52:53
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🖤 :
In my opinion… I just don’t think they’re compatible… but to each their own 🙊
2025-07-23 13:36:26
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Kelly :
Compromise… European vacay as honeymoon…. Starter home that’s in your price range and what y’all can agree on… let her pay her own debt while you pay house note so she may can double up on payments and knock it out sooner… should be able to do all and hopefully be pregnant within 2 years
2025-07-23 03:01:29
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nattipoo9903 :
Let her move in, don’t charge her rent and have her use whatever she was paying in rent towards the debt. If she can do that and show she has changed her spending habits then propose and look for the home.
2025-07-23 12:24:05
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Mags :
Nah. I wouldn’t have had a child in an apartment. My husband bought a house six months before we got married and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I gre up in apartments and it sucks. I would never put my girls in that situation.
2025-07-23 20:51:41
1
Sypher Lone Wolf :
She's asking you to pay off her debt even though you're not married, she's dated wealthy men before and she's telling you to put off having children. These are huge No No's
2025-07-23 03:26:21
3
tearin :
his reticence is a red flag for me.
2025-07-23 03:56:02
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Desera :
Because kids are expensive and it might not happen later! if she has kids before she's ready she'll regret it and resent you
2025-07-23 14:45:37
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𝒥𝒶𝒾𝒹𝒶-ℳ𝒶ℯ :
With the kids thing and the house I get it sure the child doesn't care, but in my opinion it's better to do it early before you have to sort out moving and everything with a young kid running around
2025-07-23 16:17:27
1
Habiba Pramiti :
Be a man and step up if you want her, she made her expectations clear. If you cannot then end it, she needs to find someone who will step up.
2025-07-23 08:19:49
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teresabc87 :
No, she needs to pay her own debt. My sister paid all her student loans before she got married. This is on her not on you. I guess my parents taught their kids to be self sufficient and independent because I can’t imagine asking my partner to do this.
2025-07-23 15:52:34
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Anna Cardenas :
She said before kids so why is he worried about the debt ? Once you live together she’s either helping with your morgage which frees up money or you’re not charging her to live with you and all of her apartment money can go to paying off those debts quick. And talk more about the house and what is realistic but if her debt is paid and you both go in on the house it’s very doable it doesn’t all have to be at once
2025-07-23 21:19:37
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Rachel Roman :
I feel like she probably doesn't really want to have kids and by the time she says she's ready it'll be too late
2025-07-23 21:37:06
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Jean :
Starting a marriage debt free is helpful, especially if you’re planning to have children asap. Her debt is due to education and medical so she might be worried about adding more medical due to pregnancy. They should stay in his home pay off debt together and once pregnant look for a home. Also her past relationships doesn’t matter, focus on the present ✌️
2025-07-23 17:37:44
0
!! :
her expectations are v reasonable I wouldnt want children in this situation neither meanwhile he wants to rush into it while she is still saddled w medical debt and other things
2025-07-23 14:48:00
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