I haven’t posted on here, but for the last month we have been fighting for Espeon’s life and this morning around 6am Espeon passed laying on my chest. Espeon is gone. My heart is completely shattered. She passed early this morning in my arms, after letting me know clearly, softly, and bravely that she was ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but I had to be strong for her one last time. I held her through every moment. I loved her through every second. Espeon wasn’t just a dog. She was my best friend and sidekick. My constant. My queen. She’s been with me since since I was 20, two weeks before I left my ab*sive husband. We grew up together. She taught me how to love unconditionally, how to advocate fiercely, how to fight for every good day. The last couple month has been a blur of meds, feeds, vet visits, sleepless nights, quiet mornings, and the tiniest sparks of progress. I really thought we were turning a corner. She was gaining weight. Sleeping peacefully. Letting herself be cared for. She even started enjoying her baths again something I never thought I’d say. She loved being massaged and held in the warm water. She let me carry her in and out to potty, and she leaned into every cuddle. She was still giving us those soft little tail wags. And we had hope. I had so much hope. But this morning she woke me up yelling for me… she told me it was time. There was no more fight in her eyes just pain and exhaustion and a quiet readiness I’ll never forget. York curled up next to her and didn’t leave her side. He knew. He always knew. She raised him. She was never his biological mom, but in every way that counted, she was. She was the boss of the house, the peacemaker, the caretaker. She was everything. I didn’t want to say goodbye. I still don’t. But I’m so, so thankful that I got to be hers. That I got to love her and be loved by her for over 11 years. She gave me the best years of my life. She shaped who I am. She was there through every high and low and I just wish we had one more good day together. I held her until the vet came. I petted and sang to her until her pain was gone. I whispered to her how proud I am of her and that it was okay to let go. How deeply I love her. How she can rest now. And I will keep saying those things for the rest of my life. Espeon, you were more than I ever deserved. You were magic, stubbornness, sweetness, and fire. You made everyone who met you fall in love. You were the queen of this house and of my heart. I hope you’re running free now, whole and strong and surrounded by light. Until we meet again, my girl. I love you forever. 03/02/2013-07/23/2025 - @flambothedog