「 𝐜𝐚𝐦 」 :
I’m 20. My childhood was left behind 2 years ago. It’s funny, I remember talking to my therapist during my final year of high school and expressing how scared I was to grow up. She’d ask why. And I’d say “because I’ll never get another opportunity like I had in school. You see your best friends, every day of the week, for 8 hours straight, for years. Your only worry is homework, which seems like a big deal in the moment but it’s really not in comparison to the worries as an adult. You know so many people, even though you may not be close friends with all of them. I’m scared because I never hear my parents talking about their friends from school, because they don’t have them anymore. I rarely ever hear adults talking about friends that they’ve had ever since they were in school and I don’t want to lose that.” She’d ask why I felt like I’d lose them. She’d say “You may not see them every day, but they’re still capable of being your friends even as adults. You just have to put in a bit more work.” She would say that to reassure me, but it never did. Because I just knew, I had that feeling. So, I didn’t graduate because I was so caught up in enjoying my final year of school. I didn’t do homework. I skimmed through tests. I just had fun with my friends for the remainder of that time. And now, here I am, 2 years later. I moved 16 hours away to be with the love of my life. One friend is in the Air Force, the other is working two jobs while being in college, and we barely talk anymore. My fear came true, like I thought it would. And I can’t help but fear for the future, wondering if I’ll always reminisce on those days like I already do now, only 2 years after everything. My parents barely remember their teenage years, besides the very memorable moments. But I don’t want to only remember the memorable moments. I want to remember the small details. Where at in class I’d sit. The lunch table and people who would sit with us. What we’d do on field days. The movies we watched. Group projects. The drives home after school. The bus rides together before we got our licenses. I wanna remember it all, yet I can already feel it slipping away and memories being forgotten
2025-07-26 23:21:33