@melrobbins: Ever feel like you’re the one no one picks? Like you’re always watching other people get chosen, whether it's in love or life, and wondering what’s wrong with you? That story in your head is killing your confidence. @Dr. Meg Jay is a psychologist, professor, and author who has studied this for years. She says the number one thing holding you back in love is not your looks. It’s not your dating history. It’s what you believe about how wanted you are. It’s called "perceived desirability." It shapes every decision you make in dating. And for a lot of people, that belief got shaped by the wrong people, in the wrong rooms, a long time ago. This is the advice I wish I had in my 20s, and what I’m teaching my kids now. This episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast is out now! 🎧 “What I Wish I Knew in My 20s.” #melrobbins #melrobbinspodcast #desirability #relationshipadvice #20sadvice

Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
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Friday 08 August 2025 17:44:50 GMT
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candyyyland555
candyyyland555 :
29 and needed to hear this 😭 I’m always rejected by men
2025-08-08 22:55:13
299
angeladwerd
Angel 🇨🇦 :
I have a weird thing where I think everyone wants me 💅🏻
2025-08-09 03:17:46
333
mcl3215
MCL :
I found that when a *truly* DGAF about how I’m perceived by men or what they think…is when they came flocking. You have to really believe it though, people can sense it I think
2025-08-09 00:37:57
509
codependentdogmom
Codependent Dog Mom :
Yeah, I always had low self desirability and never got married sadly so maybe this is true 😢
2025-08-10 01:45:11
0
leighann0571
leighann0571 :
I’m 54 and in this spot
2025-08-09 00:39:42
16
thelitspirit
Nessa | the literature spirit :
Yeah it's self concept. This is literally manifestation through belief of oneself
2025-08-09 02:44:52
573
stefan.juros
st :
Loving the let them theory💚
2025-08-08 17:51:05
56
afternoon_eyes
Afternoon_eyes :
This is me in my 40’s!
2025-08-10 01:05:25
1
challanska
Challanska :
I’m 40 and have an ego the size of Texas. Why WOULDN’T they want me?! I’m great!! Their life will vastly improve with me in it. Women are ALWAYS desired and wanted, regardless of age, weight, looks etc. The question is - What do you want?
2025-08-09 11:59:48
46
queens11111333
Queens1111333 :
I’m actually very delusional because I’m almost 51 and I will always have men wanting me. It’s what I tell myself
2025-08-08 21:42:02
270
elenadacosta08
Elena 🎀 :
Ladies watch the movie “ I feel pretty” the way you feel about yourself is how others will see you. The right person will see it.
2025-08-09 03:10:43
93
jennaneugebauer
Jenna Neugebauer :
Nailed it! Totally explained me (and my choice for my ex husband). Proud I figured out I’m needed. ❤️
2025-08-09 03:40:49
3
aminahlouise_cle
Aminah Louise :
well.....I'm 33 and still no one's first choice so🤷
2025-08-09 03:08:03
11
chayito_227
chata77 :
I’m the opposite, I’m not as HOT as I used to be but I still think I could get just about any man because of my charming personality 😂 and I can feed them, learn to cook ladies and be funny 😆
2025-08-09 07:49:31
15
allisonbekas
allisonbekas :
meg jay! read her book, ‘the defining decade,’ strongly recommend!
2025-08-09 04:44:40
2
orlap10
S :
When you get to mid 30s and this is still happening you realise you’ll never be loved
2025-08-09 07:58:54
45
ekbutbackwards
EK :
They’re always attracted me. But they never seem to approach or follow thru. Very few have
2025-08-09 00:55:21
12
vicevo_55
Vickyevo82 :
That is all I want
2025-08-08 20:34:43
5
usatouk
Mackenzie :
I so needed to hear this!!!
2025-08-08 21:09:17
3
corbzcrazyworld
C.B. :
Love you Mel, thank you for changing my life
2025-08-09 00:10:45
26
ricamelina
Mehleena :
That’s crazy because I think everyone lowkey wants me or is attracted to me and no one ever asks me out or says it’s true. 😭😅
2025-08-09 04:47:34
32
champagnenoona
Chloé :
Oh no, I’m cooked 😔
2025-08-09 10:57:25
1
youngneighborhoodgma
Katerina :
This is something I have an extremely hard time with, bc my confidence in my early 20s was sky high, I knew what I was deserving of. Yet constantly feeling let down by “the data”
2025-08-08 20:08:23
82
henninsa
Sarah :
Dr. Jay is a genius and her work is so important. I hope folks in their 20s who hear this convo also read her book. I’ve used a lot of her concepts coaching younger clients and it has changed their life both in sense of self and trajectory for the future. Wish I had it in my 20s
2025-08-09 16:40:20
2
chloejm_
chloe :
going through this right now 🫠
2025-08-09 08:51:06
6
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