@raquelmartinphd: There’s a difference between danger and discomfort. And if you don’t learn to tell the difference, you’ll stay stuck. Sure, you will keep out pain but also joy, and growth. You can’t escape discomfort your entire life. And you shouldn’t want to. Discomfort is part of growth. It shows up when you’re starting something new, unlearning harmful patterns, speaking up, and even healing If you avoid discomfort at all costs, you’ll end up avoiding your own evolution Your nervous system might be reacting to something old, not something real. Triggers are real, but they’re not always proof of threat. And learning to pause, reflect, and respond rather than just react is a core part of healing. Start with these check-in questions anytime you feel activated: – Am I reacting to what’s happening now, or something that happened before? – Is this an actual threat, or just a feeling I don’t want to feel? – Will leaving keep me safe, or just comfortable? You deserve peace and progress. Don’t let discomfort steal both.

THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS :

"Feelings are always real. They're data, but they're not facts."

A Millennial's Musings :

"if you've lived in survival mode long enough, even peace can feel suspicious" might be the tagline for my life 😬🫠

mylovewillfixtheworld :

I recently bought a book Healing Isn't Pretty by Mira Hartson thinking it was just another self-help gimmick. But the way it broke down some of the things i didn't even realize about myself flipped my whole mindset. Didn't expect to learn something from a PDF(in my case) but here we are, crazy how overlooked some arts are

earthsignslander :

Praying to find a therapist this knowledgeable and insightful. I’m tired of being told to just do deep breathing

brazilremani :

“Because when you leave every time it gets hard, you don’t just avoid pain, you also avoid progress.“👏👏👏👏

Take action beyond commenting :

Your content is at the level of nuance i need- AND you give practical tools to avoid overintellectualizing what i’m going through. Thank you

peaceandblyss :

Just @ me next time Doc! 😭😭😭

sarah underwood337 :

"is this an actual threat or just something I don't want to feel" ooofff call me out much

user3026560492297 :

I find safety in isolation.

Empress 1111 :

What about PTSD triggers that put you in fight mode.

Mel Hamlett :

Life changing phrase from My therapist that helped me not run or react so dramatically— “if it’s hysterical, it’s probably historical.” That’s kept me from running from discomfort or, more importantly, lashing out unfairly at innocent people (bc I’m probably projecting something onto someone completely unrelated to what I’m feeling triggered by). Thanks so much for these tools. 💕

Rivahh 🍉 :

Meanwhile I’m still trying to get my body to recognize any kind of emotions…

madian :

Even peace feels suspicious……

fartwad :

I’m curious how to navigate this when it relates to micro-aggressions within a family unit.

Meow-Key🩷🕸️ :

A lot of people on the internet need to see this

D & Leroy :

Long thought, feel free to skip - As an autistic individual, I recently saw a study about how emotional betrayal is more damaging to autistic ppl in some cases then even phys. or sx abuse. While it was sorta validating to see the study- & realize no, I'm not crazy, this really did affect me that badly- it does make me wonder how to move forward now. Because that discomfort is now a trauma trigger itself- and I've learned personally nothing can be more dangerous than how someone might emotionally hurt me. I'm never afraid of what they might physically do, and I've definitely been through physical abuse before. I've been really struggling lately with just shutting down at the first sign of conflict and I know that can't keep happening. I'm currently seeking a therapist, and wondering if there's any that specialize with people with autism, or how your approach might be different in a case where the emotional trauma is worse for someone than anything else. Thank you if you took time to read this!

Jammm :

You do such a great job of how to actually implement these strategies irl

this_is_mb :

The number of times a client says, "I saw this really good video where a woman was explaining ...." To which I reply, "that sounds like Dr. Martin and she's exactly right. Let's talk about how that relates to your life and why that resonates with you."

Cele :

The last time I got triggered I told the person now that you said that to me you’re going to have to say something nice to me. They were dumbfounded and did not know what to do with that. I didn’t leave because I had $40 worth of food and drinks in front of me and I decided to stay. She ended up insulting me two more times. But I knew it wasn’t about me and I got to learn that she was a narcissist and I don’t have to be around her anymore. I consider it a win and I’m thankful that I got that experience. I don’t have to do it again.

Amy :

This video needs a million more likes. Thanks, Doc. 🥺

Eviedidawee :

If it’s hysterical it’s historical

Ms Jen :

Toni Lawrence :

I use this acronym STOP which stands for stop take a deep breath observe your feelings and your body's reactions to the perceived threats while asking yourself if it's true or imagined lastly proceed with self-compassion

Me You8017 :

This person is such a talented clinical psychologist.

Belle Pepper || SAHM :

is there a way to do this without the emotion part? it takes me a bit to figure out my emotions.