@theciaranicole: Sorry for the disappearance. I felt too ugly this week with my skin acting up and took a break from extensions and makeup. Doing this video for a thought dump of a sick & tired mind. Constantly fighting a spiral is exhausting when your brain chemistry is rather unhinged. 🤣 also this isn’t a cry for help, I have plenty of resources and am my life is pretty safe (promise). Just a dark blurb. Cr*p thought poetic dump even. #poetic #nihilism #nihil #nihilist #existentialcrisis
Or even just feeling my memory and thinking process slowly rot. The other day an outside doctor asked me if I have MS when he reviewed my imaging chronic illness fear & panic itself as I feel major changes and feel I’m losing time alone here away from what I enjoy also causes me to do strange things I feel sadly. Constantly trying to regulate an eating disorder or my pain alone is tiring. Today I had to run for my zofran to not start vomiting and couldn’t even eat until an hour ago, then I watch my weight start to drop, or I’ll over eat then get anxiety
2025-09-07 21:24:30
3
Mictian DK :
I am sorry you are going thru all of that.. I cannot imagine going thru any of it.
2025-09-07 21:28:15
2
Ryoga Sandoval :
Everything is difficult I understand you, but you more stronger than you believe, don't lose hope Ciara
2025-09-08 19:11:59
0
Kelli Joanna 🏳️🌈🇨🇴 :
Beauty 😍🥰
2025-09-17 03:31:33
0
anodynemadnessx :
I often feel like my life direction has gone according to the music I enjoyed growing up.
2025-09-08 01:33:04
0
deeze 🇺🇲 :
You're amazing my friend. stay the course.
2025-09-07 22:23:56
0
_Shade'o :
dw mate I get it. Sometimes I just crawl into my lil world gaming and listening music
2025-09-07 22:58:38
0
Ciara :
Everything is just a hormone/neuro transmitter and when that begins to fail, so does your reality and existence
2025-09-07 21:26:53
2
Ciara :
Also sometimes I read my writing at a later time when I’m processing better and realize I struggle to write now, so excuse my errors. My brain comes and goes haha
2025-09-07 21:25:17
2
Dakalenos :
is it that deep?
2025-09-07 21:48:52
1
Emilio Castellano :
🌹❤️🌹
2025-09-07 21:37:03
2
hgztf12345@ :
😇😇😇
2025-09-08 07:06:19
0
Raja Zohaib :
💗
2025-09-08 06:56:43
0
Steve 📚 :
🫶
2025-09-08 04:44:33
0
Skeleton :
please remember its not your fault!! brains are so dumb sometimes its crazy how the brain can convince itself of things that aren't true, but its impossible to logic urself out of it! but having a mental illness does NOT mean u are a bad person
2025-09-08 21:29:11
0
To see more videos from user @theciaranicole, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.