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Amelia Yuliani768
Amelia Yuliani768
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Tuesday 09 September 2025 11:20:32 GMT
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Throughout the past few months I got to spend with you, I often thought about us being the same age. How at only 25 years old, being a baby felt like a lifetime ago. Yet for all of those years between then and now, you have spent them working and having to prove daily you were worth it to them to feed and keep. I can't imagine the amount of hours you've worked and taken mistreatment, I can't envision what your environment was like, all that you endured. Instead, I think of your time here. I think of you opening yourself up to us, becoming nosey and invasive looking for treats. How you started to trot after me when you wanted more grain, when you were kind to every animal that came up to you even when all they wanted was to steal your food.  You kept to yourself. Spent most of your days standing in the shade of the shelter with your nose in the corner. And as I think back to it, I wonder what was going through your mind then? Were you so used to being exhausted you rested any chance you had? Were you simply finally happy & able to relax?  Or were you uncomfortable and in pain, enough so to keep to yourself, knowing you were too sore to defend yourself? God, I am so sorry Sawyer.  All I wanted was to take your pain away.  And when we found out that your pain and infection was not isolated to your left hoof, I felt broken in two.  So we brought you home one last time.  What I would have given to help you and give you the life you so deeply deserved.  The last couple of weeks while you have undergone a very tender & painful resection, I have gone back and forth with why I felt so uneasy. The vet said your hoof showed us hopeful signs of recovery, you had energy and an amazing appetite, yet thinking back, I think I knew there was more to it. I wasn't letting myself be too optimistic or hopeful, knowing you just weren't yourself. Something else was going on.  You have been through so much in your life.  Too much.  I take comfort in knowing those days are over.  You were relieved of your painful body today, here at home, your home, surrounded by your herd. There are so many of our beloved rescues waiting to greet you.  Run free, big boy.  I love you always. 🕊️
Throughout the past few months I got to spend with you, I often thought about us being the same age. How at only 25 years old, being a baby felt like a lifetime ago. Yet for all of those years between then and now, you have spent them working and having to prove daily you were worth it to them to feed and keep. I can't imagine the amount of hours you've worked and taken mistreatment, I can't envision what your environment was like, all that you endured. Instead, I think of your time here. I think of you opening yourself up to us, becoming nosey and invasive looking for treats. How you started to trot after me when you wanted more grain, when you were kind to every animal that came up to you even when all they wanted was to steal your food. You kept to yourself. Spent most of your days standing in the shade of the shelter with your nose in the corner. And as I think back to it, I wonder what was going through your mind then? Were you so used to being exhausted you rested any chance you had? Were you simply finally happy & able to relax? Or were you uncomfortable and in pain, enough so to keep to yourself, knowing you were too sore to defend yourself? God, I am so sorry Sawyer. All I wanted was to take your pain away. And when we found out that your pain and infection was not isolated to your left hoof, I felt broken in two. So we brought you home one last time. What I would have given to help you and give you the life you so deeply deserved. The last couple of weeks while you have undergone a very tender & painful resection, I have gone back and forth with why I felt so uneasy. The vet said your hoof showed us hopeful signs of recovery, you had energy and an amazing appetite, yet thinking back, I think I knew there was more to it. I wasn't letting myself be too optimistic or hopeful, knowing you just weren't yourself. Something else was going on. You have been through so much in your life. Too much. I take comfort in knowing those days are over. You were relieved of your painful body today, here at home, your home, surrounded by your herd. There are so many of our beloved rescues waiting to greet you. Run free, big boy. I love you always. 🕊️

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