TheGottmanInstitute
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Tuesday 23 September 2025 21:48:07 GMT
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Jaqueline :
Except boundaries are about yourself, not the other person.
2025-09-24 03:32:06
63
Mich_Sleds :
Boundaries and limits are essential when the other partner is behaving abusively.
2025-09-24 00:15:41
8
Coach Tara Garrison :
Boundaries is knowing what you want/don’t want and communicating that honestly. People are misunderstanding what it means and weaponizing it in the way you guys are describing, so great discussion.
2025-09-27 16:37:06
1
Hilary :
Connection requires emotional maturity, boundaries protect against emotional immaturity.
2025-09-24 14:57:21
0
Thought Stimulator :
This is overgeneralizing. What they're talking about is rigid boundaries as barricades. But there's a difference in walling someone in or out, and installing doors and windows that allow us to choose when and how and with whom to engage. As other commenters have acknowledged, it's critical to avoid enmeshment and codependence. I'd be interested in how the Gottmans would respond to the comments on this video.
2025-09-24 15:22:49
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Sarah :
Boundaries that are healthy are meant to protect the relationship
2025-09-25 02:35:45
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Bronze6oddess :
its standards...I have standards for myself and standards for what kind of relationship I want and believe will work best for who I am. I'll willing to move around to meet someone to make it work but never lower my standards.
2025-09-24 05:20:53
4
Jennifer Brush :
Sometimes I think, in couples, when someone says “this is my boundary” they actually mean “this is my unspoken expectation” (which is oftentimes unreasonable or unachievable)
2025-09-24 20:25:09
6
ShanaBanana :
but if you completely lack boundaries it's ultimately not going to work
2025-09-24 03:05:32
11
Tim & Mary | Boy Mama🩵 :
Boundaries are important and not necessarily between partners, but perhaps occurs in terms of walls to keep unhealthy individuals exterior to the relationship at a specific distance. In that sense, it has a good use.
2025-09-24 20:56:13
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Jelena Salom :
They are not base for relationship but are not something to be dismissed either😳
2025-09-24 11:59:37
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Bran Bran :
Their issue is boundaries as a way to avoid discomfort, which I think most people recognize. But if you have a partner that keeps starting relationship fights when they’re drunk, saying “I’m not going to have this conversation when you’ve been drinking” is a totally reasonable boundary to set.
2025-09-24 19:33:54
0
tleahy45 :
SO glad to hear a thought leader in the psych arena say this. I TOTALLY agree with everything they say in this clip!!!!!
2025-09-24 05:13:36
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ChefStephanie :
Coming out of enmeshment boundaries feel so important 🖤
2025-09-24 02:49:00
13
Barbara J. :
People get too much advice from social media
2025-09-30 01:44:31
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🇸🇪 Anna-Lee;NextStepMentor ♡ :
u stqy here, I. stay here, can save a relationship. E.g. separate bedrooms if one snores, so the other get to sleep and have energy to cpnnect the next day. boundafies is normal also in love.
2025-09-25 03:08:03
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toforwood :
The main issue, in my opinion, is willingness to be uncomfortable and say the thing that bothers you. Even if it means there is conflict. Conflict brings closeness. If they don't behave in the way discussed, or whatever the goal you set together is, for the behavior. Then do it again, if you want, but if they do it again. Then decide if you can live with it or move on. It's kind of that simple, but that's not the same as easy. You have to decide if this behavior is something deeply ingrained in their character or maybe if there is a different way to solve the problem.
2025-09-24 15:13:02
0
Richard Clark :
It seems even people that I would think know better think of boundaries in a less than helpful way. boundaries are never rules for other people. they are rules for our self.
2025-09-24 06:29:27
1
DuAnn Lacie Bacon :
example... "if you cuss in front of my child we will leave the party"
2025-09-24 11:53:53
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BethyCraftyHipneck :
Negotiations......might be a better word.
2025-09-23 23:20:28
4
Ronnie :
Boundaries aren’t about controlling the other person. It’s saying, if you do this, I do this. A relationship shouldn’t always be bouncing off the boundaries.
2025-09-24 15:33:52
2
Gor___ :
Honestly, it’s the same concept as healthy conflict, so what’s the issue? Boundaries communicate safeguards to ensure connection remains strong. For example, if I tell you to screw the bolt counterclockwise and you screw it in clockwise while not understanding why there’s no connection. It is clear cut communication and a part of conflict
2025-09-23 21:59:32
5
Timothy F. :
long story short people want to avoid pain and conflict. How can you EVER grow, I don't understand this generation. Pain makes you stronger
2025-09-24 15:36:30
0
feminine energy dating coach :
As a feminine energy dating coach since 2020 thank you for your important work
2025-09-24 01:14:03
1
Marilyn Walter :
Boundaries are more or less rules for yourself not the other person. For example, my boundary would be I don’t allow people to disrespect me by name-calling or yelling. If this happens, I will leave the conversation which would be the consequence. This is to curve my behavior because if I was to stay engaged in this conversation, I would yell and name call as well.
2025-09-25 02:57:25
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