@the.healing.eras: Replying to @Celeste The origins of “cry it out” — and why anthropology tells a different story. The cry-it-out method became popular in the early 20th century, influenced by behaviorists like John Watson who warned against “spoiling” children with comfort. But historically, across cultures, infants were rarely left alone. In matrilineal and multigenerational homes, crying was responded to quickly by mothers, siblings, and kin. Anthropologists point out that human infants evolved to expect near-constant responsiveness — being carried, comforted, and attended to. Ignoring cries is not natural to human caregiving systems; it’s an industrial-age adaptation. Clinically, consistently and chronically ignoring distress is a form of emotional neglect. Babies don’t learn regulation from being left alone — they learn disconnection. Attachment research (Ainsworth, 1978; Bowlby, 1988) and neuroscience (Schore, 2001) show that repeated unresponsiveness contributes to insecure attachment and later emotional difficulties. •. Hrdy, S. B. (1999). Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species. Pantheon Books. (Anthropological context of cooperative breeding / alloparenting). •Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. •Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. •Schore, A. N. (2001). The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 201–269. •Liotti, G. (2006). A model of dissociation based on attachment theory and research. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 7(4), 55–73. #cptsd #cyclebreaker #childhoodtrauma #innerchildhealing #emotionallyimmatureparents The content shared on this page is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical advice, or professional mental health treatment. Engaging with this page—including viewing, following, commenting, or sharing—does not establish a therapist–client relationship. No diagnosis, treatment recommendation, or individualized guidance is being provided. Everyone’s experiences, histories, and needs are different. Take what resonates, and gently leave the rest. You are the expert on your own healing journey. I assume no liability for decisions made or actions taken based on this content.

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𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘢🤍 :

There shouldn't even by a debate over this. A parent is a child's regulation amd safe space. Do we leave those we love to cry it out?CONVENIENT!!!!That's the word!

2025-09-30 15:17:37

Celeste :

Thank you for talking about this! Such important information to be out there. 🙏

2025-10-02 21:56:14

amp🫶🏻 :

So many people suggested I should do the CIO method but I just couldn’t not let myself do that. My daughter really did not like being put down so she was on me for most of the day. This worked way better for the both of us

2025-09-30 15:19:52

EG :

As a Mexican experiencing the American recommendations I was horrified at how cold and disconnected the guidelines are. Children and their need for connection came first ESPECIALLY in their early years, we knew this instinctually. The hyperindividualism of the American culture is something hard to adapt to as a non-American.

2025-10-01 05:16:13

Melissa Jean :

in my bones I couldn't. I also co-slept which is also know is controversial. I wanted my children to feel bonded

2025-10-08 04:37:40

Ghost_of_the_Constitution :

I remember by Father saying it was clear I was “manipulating” my parents because I would stop crying if they came into room….like dude…..think about why!

2025-10-01 03:41:03

TexRom :

I tried CIO one night for 2 hours and couldn’t bring myself to do more than that. It hurt deep in my body to hear that crying and not go in to soothe, which was essentially a baby in the terrifying throes of abandonment . Both of mine nursed throughout the night in a bassinet close to our bed. I will never miss any of the sleep I lost during those years, but I love that I have the memories of middle of the night cuddles and chubby cheeks looking up at me.

2025-09-30 21:46:32

Steel Breeze :

I remember the moms in my friend group boasting about how the CIO method worked wonderfully for them and how their babies slept through the night. I remember wondering if I was doing the wrong thing because I didn’t have the heart to leave my baby crying alone in a dark room. It just felt cruel. Yes, it took longer and I was tired but eventually my babies slept through the night. I’m so glad there’s data to support that CIO is not a healthy option for emotional development.

2025-10-01 16:34:26

OGStrategerE :

“Popular in the 20th century” oof I’m old 😩

2025-10-01 19:23:57

Blunderpunk :

once again capitalism proves itself cancerous to society

2025-10-01 13:10:45

Just Judit🇨🇦 :

my mother made me cry it out and it was so traumatizing I actually still remember it. I have memories from that far back my mom opened the door and shut the door. I remember it. I also remember never asking anything of her- she was never interested in being a parent. I never let my kid cry it out and I never did all the things or say all the things my mother did to me. my kid will be 17 next month and we have the closest and best relationship. I went no contact with my mom and she died alone.

2025-10-01 20:48:11

saylor830 :

As I child who grew up in an emotionally neglectful home CIO never did sit right with me. While my 2 year old still struggles with sleep at times I can’t and won’t do CIO. Now I have walked out of his room while he was crying because I needed a moment to collect myself I have never left him for extended periods of time to cry. Thank you for this information ♥

2025-10-02 15:00:32

Gekkou The :

'It takes a village' is so gosh darn true. We need to be supporting eachother, as family, friends, community, state, and federally we need support to raise children properly!

2025-10-02 04:24:59

nastyjae0 :

Emotional neglect is the standard in the US. Most especially with children brought up in a certain demographic’s state sanctioned cult. The violence starts early with that cult.

2025-10-01 14:14:25

Titboob :

Cry it out is for those moments when you as the parent are not emotionally regulated enough to safely handle the situation. A baby can cry alone in their crib for a few minutes while you prepare yourself to handle it. But you do need to handle it. And maybe they manage to soothe themselves in the 10 minutes you wait, and that's fine too.

2025-10-01 11:53:44

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