OK :
sometimes i get blamed by for nothing in particular. my parents always reminds me to study so that i can beat everyone in class, but they won't and never be able to see my struggle to do so. i sometimes think to myself; "am i just a slave working just to get no rewards at the end?" because back then, i got the number 2 in class and 14 in grade, but i wasn't cherished by them, my parents. they say i need to do better, they say i need to hold the top student title after all of my hard work and struggle ive been through. now even when i did nothing, they fault me for doing nothing when there's like 3-4 months left until the final exam. i also wonder if they even care about my physical and mental exhaustion as well as my unstable emotions deep inside. all humans' needs is joy and peace, but for my parents, they see my needs as struggling to be the best and giving all of my energy to achieve anything they want and what i want. meanwhile, all i want was appreciation of life by having one joyous life that could be spent by doing anything that makes me happy. i also wanted to tell them of my mental, but im scared im going to be the one who's getting roasted to the ground — im afraid of what would they say next. my parents always see me as a strong man pushing all my limits for them, but they were wrong; im just a softie and an easily broken person inside a man's body. i secretly always want to try my best to help my mom whom has an unstable emotions by making her happy in any way that could do it, but she kept on pushing me, embarrassing me, and forcing me to do such works — still, she gave me a love every child needs; she lets me have what i want, she listens to me, and she defends me in every aspect she could've ever done to me as her job to be a kind loving mother. but to get straight to the point, she still gets mad at me at the most wrong time. for example, she called my siblings being very helpful to her, comparing me to top students, faulted me for befriending a "friend that i should not be a friend with", and comparing me to other kids as well as blaming me for choosing my "friend's path" as a guide. they also called me lazy for playing games, meanwhile i (1)
2025-11-03 07:20:16