if something ends, it should end stupidly. i can't think of a better way. i personally believe that people overestimate sincerity, they act like saying what you really feel is some higher moral calling. the world asks for sincerity like it’s owed any it misplaced. sincerity is only ever interesting to those who aren’t the ones displaying it. people want to see someone be vulnerable as long as they don’t have to sit in the mess that follows. i don’t think the world values that kind of honesty, it values entertainment. there’s this purity in absurdity that sincerity never has, and it can only come from being the moronic one. sincerity wants to be right, absurdity just wants to exist. people don't like that, they want logic, meaning, resolution, and absurdity denies them that. if that makes me immature, that’s okay, because i’ve never been ridiculed for being funny. i’ve never been put down for smiling. people punish intensity, not levity. they mock those who speak sincerely because sincerity makes them nervous, it reminds them how easy it is to be humiliated by wanting too much. every other version of me has been corrected, criticized, dismissed, but the immature version always survived. the immature version always gets invited back. the humour is the only tone that doesn’t get punished. if they laugh, they can’t attack you, if they don’t, they still think they’re above you. either outcome works, and i always walk out intact. i don’t need to be understood or fixed or changed. i need to be remembered the way i choose. i want people to leave conversations with me wondering if i was being serious, to replay it later and still not know. i’d rather have people think i’m incapable of depth than watch them drown me in pity, because i don’t want to beg, i don’t want to have to explain. i want them to leave thinking i was maybe a little crazy, maybe that i never meant any of it, maybe that i’m impossible to humiliate. i want absurdity to be the last thing they associate with me, because absurdity can’t be dissected, can’t be apologized for, can’t be given to the wrong person. i’d rather sit there and act like a fool than actually be a fool. #schizo #nd #BLEHHH #tacobellmealdeal Follow my twitter i follow back its sadsealstory Ill figure out a way for that in my Bio…😅 But if u like me follow my Substack too its the same username as on here or linked in bio :D 🐰💭🤔🐟😍🤓🍀🍀🐙😇🌍 Thx u guys for reading as usual dont take anything too serious The caption is just a meme i remembered that i saw on twitter that i changed to fit me 🌍🌍💻😇😇🐔🐔 - @dawnerly