Sabrina Zohar
Region: US
Tuesday 04 November 2025 23:24:34 GMT
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cath :
Maybe it needs to be reframed to “if they wanted to and had the capacity to, they would”
2025-11-05 13:55:40
936
Carly :
Ten hundred percent. It also doesn’t mean we should wait around for them to be ready, though, and / or do the emotional work for them
2025-11-05 00:19:00
1538
Andritta Lucero :
I really needed to hear this
2025-11-13 08:46:07
0
Chris2k1___ :
a lot of the time the "if he wanted to he would" stuff they talk about us the man forming out his entire life savings for some massive do up thing to ask her to be his gf, in the end it comes back to £
2025-11-08 03:47:29
0
Jennifer Aigbini :
*Rolls my eyes* If he wants me, then he should. If he can’t then it’s fine, he can just stay away from me.
2025-11-05 19:36:20
198
Federica 🌻 :
girly I get you trust me! but 99% of the "if he wanted to he would" we're talking about isn't that kind of freeze response... it's the ones who dont care. Women stay way too long, trust me if the intent were good it would come out at some point
2025-11-06 22:45:38
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Lillian Kane |🇨🇦 :
yes however im not their therapist, so if he wants a relationship he better go to therapy
2025-11-06 06:26:29
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sr.viii8 :
As a dismissive avoidant with commitment phobia who sabotages only when she’s madly in love, I completely understand.
2025-11-05 19:21:07
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Lia :
So it’s not “if he wanted to he would” it’s rather “if he wanted to he would’ve gotten into therapy to get help for his trauma/anxiety whatever” Let’s be real, it’s still the same, but with extra steps and the outcome is still the same.
2025-11-07 09:17:16
3
Sophia :
No we don’t find excuses for them
2025-11-07 01:51:46
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Cate :
I think “if he wanted to, he would” needs a caveat of this applies to working on himself, too. If he can’t do the thing for me because he doesn’t have the capacity, but also doesn’t want to figure out how to gain the capacity, I’m not interested in that either.
2025-11-04 23:54:32
253
aoifs :
Sure but the outcome is still the same. It doesn’t really matter what’s behind it if you’re still not getting when you need from someone.
2025-11-05 20:37:38
220
Nayhomie :
So how do we overcome this?
2025-11-05 08:54:18
12
user638382916 :
know what that changes? nothing. if "he wanted to, he would" is an incomplete sentence, which can be completed in an infinite amount of ways. e.g.: if he wanted to, he would...(gain the capacity/ ability or whatever else necessary to achieve his goals)
2025-11-05 19:15:44
22
Dana :
Thank you. He’s told me how much he cares for me but he’s in deep grief and associates love with loss. He wants to but he just can’t 😭😭😭. This helps me understand it so much more and not blame myself. 🙏🏻
2025-11-05 08:14:10
30
Crystal Pagana :
Girl this man just gave me a whole love confession two days ago then ghosted me😭😭😭
2025-11-07 08:01:20
4
therapywithsarahp :
This is one of my least favourite quotes!!!
2025-11-05 18:02:25
25
Vusani Nenzhelele :
Does he have all the cars he wants? 😭
2025-11-06 16:12:20
1
Sarah :
I love your podcasts. I have learned so much about myself
2025-11-06 21:26:39
1
DJJusticeMeza :
I also want to add that - it doesn’t matter what he does. If she doesn’t want to see it, she won’t.
2025-11-05 08:45:15
111
Amy :
Wonderful explanation. Thank you so much.
2025-11-05 00:01:58
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thriftstorecashmere :
Girl I like you
2025-11-07 20:34:28
1
Emmyyy :
also I do feel like this sentence is exclusive to a lot of ppl like neurodivergent ppl for ex!!
2025-11-06 00:19:15
1
Dan :
So you’re saying I should send the message to her sooner rather than later… okay… here goes
2025-11-05 22:27:24
4
connorthescot :
Oh hey that’s me
2025-11-07 20:10:27
1
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