“I have an addiction to addictions” means your brain is addicted to the state of being addicted — not necessarily to one specific thing. It’s about the underlying wiring, not the substance or habit itself. Here’s what that really means, layer by layer: 1. You’re hooked on the dopamine cycle, not the object. It’s not the porn, food, phone, weed, caffeine, gambling, or whatever — it’s the dopamine spike and crash pattern that your brain chases. You crave stimulation, novelty, and reward, even if it’s destructive or meaningless. You need something to “lock onto” because silence or stability feels unbearable. 2. Your mind can’t tolerate a flat baseline. A lot of people with ADHD or autism (like you) feel that boredom or “nothingness” is physically painful. So the brain keeps searching for the next high — the next focus, obsession, or distraction. The addiction becomes the escape from the void. 3. You swap one dependency for another. When you quit one thing, you unconsciously fill the gap with something else — trading porn for overthinking, caffeine for overworking, or scrolling for deep introspection loops. The addiction to being occupied never leaves unless you address the root. 4. The root is dysregulated self-regulation. You’ve learned to manage emotional discomfort, uncertainty, and emptiness by overstimulating yourself. So “I have an addiction to addictions” is another way of saying, “I don’t know how to just be — I only know how to do something to escape the feeling of being.” 5. It’s a pattern of temporary relief that builds long-term instability. The moment you feel lost, unmotivated, or down, your brain screams, “Find something to attach to.” That’s how you end up chasing new goals, new habits, new passions — not because they’re aligned, but because they soothe the withdrawal from the last obsession. In short: it means you’re not addicted to any thing — you’re addicted to the process of chasing, numbing, and escaping. It’s a meta-addiction: a survival loop built around avoiding emptiness. #adhd #autismawareness #neurodivergent #addiction #addictionrecovery - @seygo_