@theholisticpsychologist: limerence is a common response to growing up in an environment where love is given, and it’s also taken away. As children, we can’t understand that dad is being harsh, critical, or checked out because he’s overworked and stressed. We personalize it. And believe we’ve caused his behavior. If this happens often enough and long enough our nervous system powerfully adapts. We start to try everything we can to stay connected. We’ll try to be perfect, try to appease, take up hobbies and interests that gain his approval— anything to not lose his love. As adults, we follow the same pattern. limerence is a natural response where we meet someone and idealize them. But at the same time we fear losing them. This keeps us in a cycle of being not chosen, rejected, or treated badly not because we don’t “know better” but because it’s all we’ve ever known.