@myths_and_stories: a pair of bugtopian river fur-otters here at west bugtopia's "gigglefrog zoo and bar" made history late last week, after becoming the first ever non-human couple to ever file for divorce. the world-first comes just 3 months after zookeepers installed this deluxe "competition rope" in their enclosure, designed to increase engagement and lower stress here in their fur-otter enclosure. while fur-otter "dandy" took little interest in the new-fangled contraption, his husband "randy" appears to have become quite obsessed with it. the couple were first married in late 2020, in response to a series of complaints from several "prudish" guests regarding "homosexual tomfoolery" taking place in the fur-otter enclosure. things had been going well, and keepers were planning their 5-year anniversary just last week, when they noticed something odd... "simply put, dandy seemed quite sick of randy," says fur-otter expert mandy stouffer. "dandy seemed lethargic, depressed... we'd caught him sneaking cheap wine into the enclosure." all this, mind you, while randy remained unaware, spinning on his competition rope for a dizzying 19 hours a day. "so we figured, 'maybe they need some time apart. we gave them a wedding, maybe they need a divorce.' " the pair were officially divorced this past saturday, the 29th. a staffer at the nearby city hall officiated the divorce, collecting signatures from both parties before ratifying the necessary documents. (from twt @ maru_448_g)

Obama Prism :

"i feel like hes just here for the rope,"

max :

. :

turkyvlture :

not enough people are reading the caption. godspeed dandy

ren ☆ :

THE QUIET PARTY MUSIC IS FRYING ME

✨ mx chaos ✨ :

please tell me this isn’t AI

Trash :

gay otter divorce is in fact one of the few original experiences left in the world. I wish them both the best in their future endeavors

Magdelin 🍃🦦 :

IM CRYING WHY DID THEY DIVORCE MAYBE IT WAS AN ARGUMENT OR SOMETHING

owen pope :

They tied the knot only for their marriage to be on the ropes 😔

Astral♿️🐈‍⬛ | COMMS OPEN :

19 HOURS A DAY 😭

Booki :

My condolences on the divorce

Laynie :

god. you can just see the defeat in randys eyes. when is dandy gonna step up and stop messing around? they had a five year plan and he threw it all away. for what? a rope?

——— :

“Yea he’s taking the divorce well”

megan 🏎️💨 :

Did they divorce for irreconcilable differences? Because I think I can see why

Da :

Hes handling the divorce well

Fauna🦋 :

parallel play at its finest

greta💫 :

I’ve heard of horse divorce but never otter divorce!!!

Idk :

AYEEEEEE

Magpie Kitchen Eats :

Same

༒︎ ✮♱⋆ K𝔬𝔡𝔞 ⋆♱✮ ༒︎ :

I love the guy in the back ❤️‍🩹

Cartoonfreakazoid458 :

and he gave no F

🔻Glitchy!!!!!🎭👻🔻 :

They’d do this in the wild if they could

joy :

alas, the performance continues

i ❤️ eating plastic :

HELP THEY DIVORCED THEM??? 😭

trashboat𓂉 :

i feel like the divorce was probably a bit too hasty