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Qalbi♡Taabad
Qalbi♡Taabad
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Friday 05 December 2025 12:43:51 GMT
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2025-12-05 15:53:01
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Maybe I was made to be a nobody. To love me is to carry a burden. I know it’s just my mind, but lately seeing everyone around me bonding so much stronger than me and something triggers me up so often that I kind of spirals hard Literally I made this acc up at first because I had no one and I wanted to feel special, or seen ig. It is the only place I could feel heard, that I’m not overshadowed by other people’s voices and pain, because this is my own stage, my only comfort place. Because it’s going to be the only way I can feel important and like anybody will notice me. But maybe even that didn’t work either, because even in my OWN server. I don’t even feel the most important there. I don’t even feel like I owned it. (And it’s *no one’s* fault. I know it’s because of my issues.) Like if there’s a show or anime, I’d be one of those shows where ppl love side characters more than protagonist ykwim. If my life is Bungou Stray Dogs, I’d be Atsushi while ppl love Dazai and bla bla bla. I was born to be the side character. I’m just not a lovable person, ig. Never had been. I don’t know if that makes sense. It’s 4AM. I feel so, so invisible it’s not even funny anymore. I feel so unworthy and envy at those who’s not, and it’s such an ugly feeling that shape me to who I am. I hurt the people who love me. Do I not performed well enough? It’s not like I didn’t try. I wish I’m lovable. I wish I’m charismatic and funny. I wish I wasn’t awkward. I wish. Maybe some of us are never gonna be appreciated no matter what we do, maybe that’s what makes us us….maybe if I hold on to this I might feel better. Maybe I was made to be something by being nothing. Maybe in next live I’d have tons of friends and being so, so lovable I couldn’t breathe. This is cringe lol I’m so sorry. This is just one big vomit because I don’t know where to let it out, and saying it to no one is the only way that works for me💔 Anyways, I just recently got a diagnosis! Kinda. I don’t think I’m ready for any of it yet but I tried to go once and I think I’m okay with that for now. It’s a pretty big step for me so I’m glad! #abandonmentissues #avoidantattachment #ventaccount #vent #art
Maybe I was made to be a nobody. To love me is to carry a burden. I know it’s just my mind, but lately seeing everyone around me bonding so much stronger than me and something triggers me up so often that I kind of spirals hard Literally I made this acc up at first because I had no one and I wanted to feel special, or seen ig. It is the only place I could feel heard, that I’m not overshadowed by other people’s voices and pain, because this is my own stage, my only comfort place. Because it’s going to be the only way I can feel important and like anybody will notice me. But maybe even that didn’t work either, because even in my OWN server. I don’t even feel the most important there. I don’t even feel like I owned it. (And it’s *no one’s* fault. I know it’s because of my issues.) Like if there’s a show or anime, I’d be one of those shows where ppl love side characters more than protagonist ykwim. If my life is Bungou Stray Dogs, I’d be Atsushi while ppl love Dazai and bla bla bla. I was born to be the side character. I’m just not a lovable person, ig. Never had been. I don’t know if that makes sense. It’s 4AM. I feel so, so invisible it’s not even funny anymore. I feel so unworthy and envy at those who’s not, and it’s such an ugly feeling that shape me to who I am. I hurt the people who love me. Do I not performed well enough? It’s not like I didn’t try. I wish I’m lovable. I wish I’m charismatic and funny. I wish I wasn’t awkward. I wish. Maybe some of us are never gonna be appreciated no matter what we do, maybe that’s what makes us us….maybe if I hold on to this I might feel better. Maybe I was made to be something by being nothing. Maybe in next live I’d have tons of friends and being so, so lovable I couldn’t breathe. This is cringe lol I’m so sorry. This is just one big vomit because I don’t know where to let it out, and saying it to no one is the only way that works for me💔 Anyways, I just recently got a diagnosis! Kinda. I don’t think I’m ready for any of it yet but I tried to go once and I think I’m okay with that for now. It’s a pretty big step for me so I’m glad! #abandonmentissues #avoidantattachment #ventaccount #vent #art

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